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Tony's Online Tips
Reviews and commentary by Tony Isabella
"America's Most Beloved Comic-Book Writer & Columnist"

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TONY'S ONLINE TIPS
for Monday, September 26, 2005

Candy 1

Published by Quality Comics from Autumn, 1947 to July, 1956, CANDY joins our recurring cover motif rotation today. This is the first of her impressive 64-issue run. Later covers would proclaim her "America's Favorite Teen-Age Girl."

I must confess that, to the best of my knowledge, I have never read a "Candy" story. I chanced on some of her covers browsing the GRAND COMICS DATABASE [www.comics.org] and was taken by the amusing gags and wonderful art found on those covers. What precious little I know of CANDY I learned from the OFFICIAL OVERSTREET COMIC BOOK PRICE GUIDE, which lists Paul Gustavson art in the first two issues of the title.

CANDY's here because I got a kick out of her covers and wanted to share them with you. I have seen a few reasonably-priced later issues on eBay. If I acquire any of those, I'll write about them somewhere down the line. In the meantime, if there's a CANDY buff out there who would like to share his or her knowledge of the lass with me and the loyal legions of TOT readers, my e-mailbox is open 24 hours a day.

Watch for more CANDY in future columns.

******

COMICS IN THE COMICS

You know the drill. Comic-strip crossovers, self-referential humor, these are a few of my favorite things. When I find them, I share them with you.

Beetle Bailey

Our first example is Mort and Greg Walker's BEETLE BAILEY for September 20. Following in the footsteps of the great Will Eisner, young Lt. Fuzz uses comics art to report on the paperclip situation at Camp Swampy.

Beetle Baily

Not surprisingly, BEETLE BAILEY also celebrated BLONDIE's 75th anniversary. Dozens of strips took part in the festivities, but I would rank the above strip from August 23 as among the best of the well-wishers. For extra credit, tell me which comics characters you think would be on Blondie's speed-dial...and why.

Blondie

Two more for today. The BLONDIE strip for August 31 pulls off a nice variation on the trusty theme of Dagwood being late for his car pool...

Blondie

...while the strip for September 4 was a wonderful shot of the anniversary party itself. I wonder what the characters who were in attendance said about those who weren't.

******

DEFENDERS

Defenders 1

From time-lost 2001 comes THE DEFENDERS, a 12-issue series by Kurt Busiek, Erik Larsen, and roughly a dozen artists...including Larsen. It was called "the worst comic ever produced" by the Brit zine Comics International. It wasn't.

What it was - and I'm guessing here because I didn't and don't do drugs - was akin to the reader having an acid flashback to the 1970s. It was a madcap time when Marvel Comics writers did pretty much whatever they felt like doing in the titles entrusted to them, a freedom many of them used to put their individual mark on those titles. In the case of Steve Gerber and THE DEFENDERS - first run - my pal Gerber put the mark of "weird" on a chaotic team of super-heroes and, though it was never again as well written as when Steve wrote it, it kept that mark.

I read THE DEFENDERS #1-12 recently. The set-up was that the big guns of the team - Doctor Strange, the Hulk, the Silver Surfer, and the Sub-Mariner - were brought together to defeat Yandroth, an evil scientist from another dimension, just as they had when the Defenders were first formed. The good guys win, Yandroth dies and makes with the dying curse. Whenever the world is in trouble, the four heroes will be teleported to the scene of the peril, no matter what else they might be doing at the time.

What followed was some fun and occasionally inspired madness. Pluto - the Greek god, not Mickey's dog - tries to turn Earth into a world of the dead so that he can rule it without violating the letter of Zeus' law. The Valkyrie returns and, this time, we get to meet her parents. Nighthawk and Hellcat are as likeable as they were in the original series. The Headman return, as deadly and as goofy as ever. Busiek and Larsen even gave us the return of Orrgo the Unconquerable from the Marvel monster mags of the pre-Fantastic Four 1960s. Maybe these weren't brilliant comics, but they *were* comics a reader could just kick back and enjoy for the sheer nutty pleasure of them.

As this incarnation of THE DEFENDERS progressed, the Big Four got crankier and crankier over their situation. No one likes to be interrupted in mid-potty break because the Earth was being threaten for the tenth time this week. Not that we ever saw that happening, mind you, but it had to add an unpleasant degree of uncertainty to one's existence.

The Order 1

In THE ORDER, a six-issue series by Busiek, Jo Duffy, and four different pencillers, the Big Four decided the best way to keep the world from always calling at inconvenient times was to impose their own order on the planet. This got downright scary, even though we knew something was affecting the cranky quartet. By the time the series ended, Busiek and Duffy delivered a satisfactory conclusion to the storyline, managed to guest-star Adam Strange, and left the Defenders in a challenging-but-intriguing situation. I don't know how subsequent Marvel Universe events impacted on all of this - I'm reviewing comics from 2001/2002 so you know I have some catching up to do - but I'd be up for more adventures of this weird super-hero non-team. These were fun comics.

THE DEFENDERS/THE ORDER picks up a perfectly respectable three Tonys. Since the issues haven't been collected in trade paperback, you'll have to track them down at comics shops and conventions if you want to read them. The good news is that even Overstreet lists them at three bucks or less, increasing the likelihood that you'll be able to find them in the bargain boxes.

Tony Tony Tony

******

MICKEY MOUSE ADVENTURES

Mickey Mouse Adventures 5

Gemstone's Walt Disney digests offer readers longer and often unusual tales of Donald Duck, Mickey Mouse, and Uncle Scrooge...and that description fits MICKEY MOUSE ADVENTURES #5 [Gemstone; $7.95] nicely. Let's take a quick look at what's inside the Noel Van Horn cover shown above.

Leading the issue is "Rodeo Ruckus," a 32-page Mickey story by Pat and Carol McGreal with art by Joaquin. Mickey and Minnie are out west visiting her Uncle Mortimer who, naturally, owns a ranch. Mickey isn't a natural cowboy, but he learns quickly when a lowdown owlhoot tries to come between Mortimer's foreman and the daughter of the rancher's neighbor. The story flows well with a nice mix of action, humor, and even some serious peril. The art is as lively as the writing.

Donald Duck has the middle slot, starring in "Brain Drain" by writer Eddie O'Connor and artist Miguel. In the 50-page tale, Don attempts to impress Daisy by getting a job with a prestigious think tank. It's a terrific premise, but it gets derailed by the sudden arrival of extraterrestrial visitors.

Van Horn's cover illustrates "The Forest That Walked," which is a Mickey Mouse story set in an alternate world where our feisty hero is, initially, not as feisty and heroic as we're used to him being. Written by Rudy Salvagnini with art by Silvio Camboni and translation and dialogue by my pal Dwight Decker, the 38-page tale is intriguing - Mickey doesn't know who he really is or how he got to this world - but not really my glass of Pepsi. Still, it's cool to see such a different take on Mickey, indicative of the variety to be found in the foreign Disney stories.

MICKEY MOUSE ADVENTURES #5 gives readers 120 pages of pretty good comics for their eight dollars. That kind of bang-for-your-bucks earns the digest a solid three Tonys.

Tony Tony Tony

******

TONY POLL RESULTS

We post new TONY POLLS questions every Tuesday. They stay up for a week and then we replace them with new ones. Here's how you voted on the questions asked the week of August 29...

C.S.I. 1

We ran this question again with a twist. Removing previous winner Dark Horse from the list and adding another comics company in its place, which of these publishers is your favorite?

IDW.....19.26%
Image.....18.52%
Bongo.....10.37%
Fantagraphics.....8.89%
Gemstone.....8.89%
Oni.....8.15%
AC.....4.44%
Archie.....4.44%
Moonstone.....2.96%
TokyoPop.....2.96%
Devil's Due.....2.22%
Top Shelf.....2.22%
Viz.....2.22%
Heroic.....1.48%
Antarctic.....0.74%
Avatar.....0.74%
Claypool.....0.74%
NBM.....0.74%
AIT/PlanetLar.....0%
Speakeasy.....0%

I abstained from voting in this category because I've written for or am working for or want to work for several of them...and I didn't want to hurt any company's feelings.

I'm lying. I can't remember who I voted for in this question. I should write this stuff down somewhere.

Identity Crisis

Which "Big Three" publisher is your favorite?

DC.....65.94%
Marvel.....28.26%
Dark Horse.....5.80%

Make mine MARVEL! Mostly because I'm enjoying their comics a little bit more than DC's or all but the very best of Dark Horse's line-up. I remain baffled by the disparity between DC and Marvel in these polls; I just don't see the DC books as being better than Marvel's and definitely not that much better.

Constantine

It's time for a trio of comics/movies questions. How would you "grade" CONSTANTINE?

Near-Mint.....2.42%
Fine.....12.10%
Very Good.....16.94%
Good.....11.29%
Fair.....8.06%
Poor.....6.45%
Didn't see it.....42.74%

CONSTANTINE definitely has its fans. I'm pretty sure that I graded this movie as GOOD. It was worth renting and watching, but I probably won't see it again.

Elektra

How would you "grade" ELEKTRA?

Near-Mint.....0.82%
Fine.....1.64%
Very Good....4.10%
Good.....10.66%
Fair....11.48%
Poor.....14.75%
Didn't see it.....56.56%

I haven't seen ELEKTRA, but it's sitting in my Netflix queue with CATWOMAN. Because I have this need to see every single comic-book movie ever made. How sad is that?

Man-Thing

How would you "grade" MAN-THING?

Near-Mint....0%
Fine.....0%
Very Good.....0%
Good.....0%
Fair....5.60%
Poor.....7.20%
Extra Stinky.....20%
Didn't see it.....67.20%

This movie is EXTRA STINKY from start to finish. But, because I have a perverse nature, I think you should watch the first couple minutes of it.

I can't recall who pointed this out to me, but the opening is like unto a porn film. Randy young people steal away to make the whoopie in a small swamp boat. The beautiful girl lays down in the boat as her young swain unzips his pants. Then she screams as the unseen Man-Thing kills him off screen and the giant-size MAN-THING title fills the screen.

Watch the film up to that point. Make all the crude jokes you thought of the instant the title appeared. Then, for the love of God and Steve Gerber and Mike Ploog, don't watch this crap-fest of a movie one second further.

Moving right along...

Today is your last day to vote on last week's poll questions. We're asking you pick your favorite second-season episode of BATMAN and for your initial impressions of three new genre-related shows: BONES, SUPERNATURAL, and THRESHOLD. We're also asking you which is your favorite season, though we forget to include "duck season" and "rabbit season" among the choices.

You can cast your votes at the usual place:

www.worldfamouscomics.com/tony/poll

New poll questions will be posted tomorrow.

Thanks for spending a part of your day with me. I'll be back tomorrow with more stuff.

Tony Isabella

<< 09/20/2005 | 09/26/2005 | 09/27/2005 >>

Discuss this column with me at my Message Board. Also, read Heroes and Villains: Real and Imagined.

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THE "TONY" SCALE

Zero Tonys
ZERO: Burn your money before buying any comic receiving this rating. It doesn't *necessarily* mean there's absolutely nothing of value here - though it *could* - but whatever value it might possess shrinks into insignificance before its overall awfulness.

Tony
ONE: Buy something else. Maybe I found something which wasn't completely dreadful in the item, but not enough for me to recommend it when there are better comics available. I only want what's best for you, my children.

TonyTony
TWO: Basic judgment call. I found some value, but not enough to recommend it. My review should give you enough info to decide if you want to take a chance on it. Are you feeling lucky today, punk? Well, are you?

TonyTonyTony
THREE: This denotes something I find perfectly respectable. There are better books out there, but I wouldn't regret buying this item. Based on my review, you should be able to determine if it's of interest to you. Let the Force guide you.

TonyTonyTonyTony
FOUR: I recommend anything earning this rating. Unless you don't like the genre, subject matter, or past work of the creators, I believe you'll enjoy this item. Isn't it uncanny how I can look right into your soul that way?

TonyTonyTonyTonyTony
FIVE: Anything getting this rating is among the best comicdom has to offer. You should buy/read this, even if the genre/subject matter doesn't appeal to you. It's for your own good. Me, I live for comics and books this good...but not in a pathetic "Comic-Book Guy" sort of way.



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