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Tony's Online Tips
Reviews and commentary by Tony Isabella
"America's Most Beloved Comic-Book Writer & Columnist"

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TONY'S ONLINE TIPS
for Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Donald Duck and Friends 331

DONALD DUCK AND FRIENDS #331 [Gemstone; $2.95] is now on sale and includes among its contents Gail Renard's "You Can Run But You Can't Hide" with art by Wanda Gattino and dialogue by yours truly. I mention it here because the loyal legions of TOT readers like to know whenever my work is published or re-published. If you're NOT a loyal TOT reader than all I can ask is...

"Why do you hate America?"

I don't review books or comics on which I've worked, but I can tell you the issue also features a 1944 "Donald versus the Nephews" tale by Carl Barks - the story I worked on falls into that category as well - and a Mickey Mouse adventure written by Stefan Petrucha in which Doc Static and the Mickster deal with the consequences of the Doc's latest creation. As always, though, I remind you that patronizing the publications and publishers who employ me helps me keep TOT coming your way, however indirectly.

That concludes my heartfelt plug. Let's see what else I have for you today...

******

LIGHTNING ROUND REVIEWS

Lightning

It's lightning striking again and again and again as we head into another round of LIGHTNING ROUND REVIEWS. Let's see how terse I can be as I review a heaping helping of comic books and related items...

2000 AD 1433

Slowly but surely catching up on some of my favorite titles, I read 2000 AD #1425-1440 [February 9-May 25, 2005]. Judge Dredd continued to deal with the aftermath of a terrorist group nuking parts of Mega-City-One, but the stories weren't always up to speed. A so-so serial with alien vampires (four chapters) was followed a few weeks later by another so-so serial (five chapters) with more alien monsters.

The best of the Dredd stories during this period was "Missing in Action" by writer Gordon Rennie and artist Ian Gibson in which Dredd searches for a quirky-but-courageous Apocalypse War veteran. It ran in issues #1429-1431. Mildly amusing, but not as much fun, was "Radstock" (#1437-1439). Drawn by Karl Richardson, this Rennie serial featured a Dark Judge-worshiping rock band holding a concert in the Cursed Earth. However, things could be looking up for Dredd as Vienna, his niece, made her reappearance in a serial beginning in issue #1440.

In other 2000 AD strips:

"Second City Blues" by Kek-W (script) and Warren Pleece (art) wrapped up its 13-chapter debut in issue #1431. This serial about a group of slamboard players trying to make it to the big leagues built to a good conclusion and I look forward to the strip's return in the hopefully near future.

Celtic warrior-king Slaine continued to fight demons in 2000 AD #1425 and #1436-1440. I recognize the quality of this series by Pat Mills (writer) and Clint Langley, but it's just a strip I can't get into and I've stopped reading it.

"Low Life" relates adventures of various "Wally Squad" judges, undercover officers who don the odd look and practice the odd life of Mega-City-One citizens. Lots of potential there, but the story in issues #1425-1428 wasn't very good.

Nikolai Dante, bastard son of a fallen empire and soldier of fortune, was featured in issues #1425-1431 and again in #1433-1436. It's great stuff by writer Robbie Morrison and artist John Burns. The series is a 2000 AD favorite of mine.

"Tiger Sun, Dragon Moon" is a futuristic samurai tale by Steve Parkhouse (script and art). It didn't truly grab me in its initial run in issues #1425-1431, but Parkhouse is usually worth watching, so I'm not writing off the series yet.

The star-soldiers known as the V.C. returned in issue #1432 in a serial by writer Dan Abnett and artist Anthony Williams. We're nine chapters into the tale, which ranges from a V.C. training camp to a violent encounter with not-as-superior-as-they-would-have-you-believe aliens, and I'm loving it.

"American Gothic" might well be described as "Wagon Train with vampires and werewolves." But, in this new series by Ian Edginton (writer) and Mike Collins (artist), the creatures are seeking some place in the Old West where they can live free from the fear of us human types. The first tale (#1432-1440) needed another draft, but it still showed great promise and I wouldn't mind seeing a second serial from Edginton and Collins.

Hitmen "Sinister Dexter" were back in one of their best tales ever. "Life's a Beach" by Abnett and artist Steve Yeowell had the boys trapped in a "world" cut off from civilization by super-speed highways. There was much fun - albeit of an occasional dark nature - to be found in issues #1433-1436.

Finally, supernatural magnets "Bec & Kawl" returned in issues #1437-1440. Alien traffic cones - I'm not getting - come to Earth to conquer it in a serial by writer Simon Spurrier and artist Steve Roberts. The concept is funny, the execution lacked cohesion and clarity. Maybe the characters need to stand down for a year or so until they can be reintroduced with a much better story than this disappointing one.

2000 AD #1425-1440 was an off run for the title, but the good stuff still earned the run three out of five Tonys.

Tony Tony Tony

2000 AD #1425-1440: 32 pages; color and black-and-white.

Alpha Flight 2

MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD

Writer Scott Lobdell was asking for trouble when he gave ALPHA FLIGHT #1-6 [Marvel; $2.99 each] the over-all title of "You Gotta Be Kiddin' Me," which, as it turns out, is pretty much my reaction to the padded and ultimately unsatisfying story which appeared in those issues. However, I do apologize for taking the obvious shot in starting off this review.

Sasquatch (Walter Langowski) forms a new Alpha Flight to find out what happened to the old Alpha Flight. Yes, it's the origin of the new X-Men, which, as near as I can tell, it supposed to amuse us all greatly. These new members range from the silly to the not-quite-as-silly, which points out the big flaw in this series. It tries much too hard, it forces the humor, it overdoes the breaking of the fourth wall, it's too pleased with itself. In short, this series is its own laugh track and, as with so many TV sitcoms, it makes me wonder what made the studio audience laugh. Ultimately, all the new team accomplishes is making enough noise to wake up the real Alpha Flight. You can get a pretty nice alarm clock for the 18 bucks these issues would have cost you. Oh, yeah, and I thought the art was hideous as well.

The guy I borrowed these comics from dropped the title as soon as he could after reading the first one. I totally feel his pain. ALPHA FLIGHT #1-6 average one Tony each.

Tony

ALPHA FLIGHT #1-6: 32 pages each, color.

Archie 559

ARCHIE #559 [Archie; $2.25] suffers from a lack of balance in that Archie does himself physical injury in three out of the book's four stories. However, one of those stories, "Hello and Goodbye," is a very funny reminder of what a good writer the late John Albano was, even when working with the familiar "gorgeous girl moves next door to Archie" bit. I hope Archie Comics has more of his scripts waiting to see print and that those tales enjoy art as terrific as this one receives from penciller Stan Goldberg and inker Bob Smith. With a nod to George Gladir for "The Job," an amusing tale in which Archie doesn't hurt himself, the issue picks up a respectable three out of five Tonys.

Tony Tony Tony

ARCHIE #559: 36 pages, color.

Devil Girl Hot Kisses

DEVIL GIRL HOT KISSES [Cheesy Products; $3.95 for a 1.25-ounce tin] is "hot cinnamon candy" in the shape of little hearts. What makes it of interest to TOT is that the tin is drawn and designed by legendary cartoonist Robert Crumb. You can see the top of the tin above, but the circular side entices customers to:

"Have yourself a sweet 'n' hit little suck!"

The candy itself is somewhat tasty, though it's far from being the "red-hot" claimed in the product press release. You'd have to pop a half-dozen of the little hearts to even get a decent tingle going in your mouth. Folks with allergies should note this product is manufactured on equipment used to process peanuts.

The tin? Well, that's a sweet little item. Well worth four bucks to a Crumb fan or a tin collector.

DEVIL GIRL HOT KISSES picks up three Tonys for the candy...

Tony Tony Tony

...and four Tonys for the tin.

Tony Tony Tony Tony

More LIGHTNING ROUND REVIEWS coming soon.

******

COMICS IN THE COMICS

Several - maybe several dozen - bloggers are linking to those BLONDIE 75th anniversary strips we talked about in yesterday's TOT, so I'm going to refrain from running any more of the strips in this column. I am saving the strips, though, and, should some of them get overlooked, I'll consider posting them.

Moving right along...

Mutts

MUTTS creator Patrick McDonnell did a week-long salute to some of our favorite comic-book heroes. Batman and Robin were featured in his July 15 strip...

Mutts

...and the Incredible Hulk was honored on July 16. McDonnell often does tributes to classic characters and a certain sailor-man got the star treatment on July 31:

Mutts

MUTTS is fast becoming a favorite of mine. You can visit the official MUTTS website at:

muttscomics.com

******

TONY POLLS

It's Tuesday and that means new TONY POLLS for your balloting entertainment. Our lead question this week ask you to choose your favorite comics company - Marvel and DC excluded - from a list of 20. There are two other new questions as well, one on Aquaman and one on the Sin City movie.

You can cast your votes by going to:

www.worldfamouscomics.com/tony/poll

Thanks for spending a part of your day with me. I'll be back tomorrow with more stuff.

Tony Isabella

<< 08/22/2005 | 08/23/2005 | 08/24/2005 >>

Discuss this column with me at my Message Board. Also, read Heroes and Villains: Real and Imagined.

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THE "TONY" SCALE

Zero Tonys
ZERO: Burn your money before buying any comic receiving this rating. It doesn't *necessarily* mean there's absolutely nothing of value here - though it *could* - but whatever value it might possess shrinks into insignificance before its overall awfulness.

Tony
ONE: Buy something else. Maybe I found something which wasn't completely dreadful in the item, but not enough for me to recommend it when there are better comics available. I only want what's best for you, my children.

TonyTony
TWO: Basic judgment call. I found some value, but not enough to recommend it. My review should give you enough info to decide if you want to take a chance on it. Are you feeling lucky today, punk? Well, are you?

TonyTonyTony
THREE: This denotes something I find perfectly respectable. There are better books out there, but I wouldn't regret buying this item. Based on my review, you should be able to determine if it's of interest to you. Let the Force guide you.

TonyTonyTonyTony
FOUR: I recommend anything earning this rating. Unless you don't like the genre, subject matter, or past work of the creators, I believe you'll enjoy this item. Isn't it uncanny how I can look right into your soul that way?

TonyTonyTonyTonyTony
FIVE: Anything getting this rating is among the best comicdom has to offer. You should buy/read this, even if the genre/subject matter doesn't appeal to you. It's for your own good. Me, I live for comics and books this good...but not in a pathetic "Comic-Book Guy" sort of way.



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