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Tony's Online Tips
Reviews and commentary by Tony Isabella
"America's Most Beloved Comic-Book Writer & Columnist"

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TONY'S ONLINE TIPS
for Wednesday, February 20, 2008

The primaries are over! The Marvel, DC Comics, Comic Strips, and All Others parties have selected their candidates for President of the United States in the Tony-Verse.

Here are the results of last week's voting:

Robbie Robertson

Which of these remaining MARVEL PARTY candidates is your choice for President of the United States?

Joseph "Robbie" Robertson.....59.42%
Nick Fury.....21.01%
Reed Richards.....11.59%
Charles Xavier.....7.97%

I voted for "Robbie" Robertson. The Daily Bugle editor was more in touch with the issues important to the voters and far more respectful of human rights than the other candidates. Additionally, his opponents were seriously damaged by their well-publicized ties to the Military-Illuminati Complex.

Barbara Gordon

Which of these remaining DC COMICS PARTY candidates would be your choice to run for President?

Barbara Gordon.....37.50%
James Gordon.....19.12%
Alan Scott.....18.38%
Oliver Queen.....9.58%
"Uncle Sam".....9.56%
Bruce Wayne.....5.88%

Barbara Gordon was my candidate in this race, but, in the general election, she'll be hard-pressed to defend her record on domestic surveillance. Her victory in this primary was assured when James Gordon and Alan Scott split the "old white guy" vote and Oliver Queen and "Uncle Sam" split the "old white guy with beard" vote. As for Bruce Wayne, nearly 19 out of 20 voters who agreed to take part in exit polls agreed there was "just something not right about that guy."

Pogo Button

Which of these remaining COMIC STRIP PARTY candidates would be your choice to run for President?

Pogo Possum.....39.84%
"Popeye".....28.12%
Steve Canyon.....24.22%
Oliver Warbucks.....7.81%

I voted for Steve Canyon, but the historical import of our first swamp creature candidate for President is not lost on me. Truly, we live in an amazing era when our choices for the highest office in the country include a black man, a physically handicapped woman, and an animal who eschews the wearing of pants. Of course, the outcome might have been different if Canyon and "Popeye" hadn't split the "strong on defense" vote.

Doc Savage

Which of these remaining ALL OTHERS PARTY candidates would be your choice to run for President?

Clark Savage Jr......29.32%
"Concrete".....24.06%
Lamont Cranston.....18.80%
Mickey Mouse.....11.28%
Nathan Petrelli.....9.77%
John Blutarsky.....6.77%

My concerns about the nominee's record of illegally detaining and performing surgery on criminals sans fair trials - or even any trials - made me vote for Lamont Cranston in this extremely tight race. To win the general election, Savage will need support from his former opponents.

"Concrete" expressed interest in Savage's experiments in brain surgery and may endorse the Man of Bronze. Lamont Cranston has not made a public appearance since the election. Neither Mickey Mouse or John Blutarsky are likely to endorse Savage.

As for Nathan Petrelli, he said:

"I'm going to do what I always do. I'm going to read a bunch of comic books and rip off their ideas for a TV show. If there's anything in those comics about endorsing Savage, you can bet I'll jump right on it."

******

Several readers thought I should run for President myself, but that would have been a conflict of interest with my supervision of these primaries. I take pride in knowing that, what the Democratic and Republican parties have taken almost two years to accomplish, I pulled off in just three weeks.

Here are some reader comments on the primaries, starting with this note from Mark Dooley in response to my withdrawing my early support of Doc Savage:
Would it help if I pointed out that all the guys Doc operated on, for the most part, were evil beyond redemption? However, a few did slip through the cracks, which explains the Bush line. If Doc could have seen into the future, he would have spayed or neutered someone in that family, sparing us Dubya.

I don't think you'll see much improvement with Lamont Cranston in charge...he spends his time putting big holes in these guys with twin automatics. Doc at least wants to humanely rehabilitate these creeps. My favorite line from Philip Jose Farmer's Doc Savage - His Apocalyptic Life is "To (the Shadow) the only good crook was a dead crook and (he) made sure the back alleys and waterfronts of New York were filled with good crooks."

Besides, fer cryin' out loud...it's Doc Savage! If he declared himself Emperor of the World, I'd at least say, "Well, let's hear his side of it."
Mike Gold of ComicMix wrote:
You know, Nick Fury is one of my favorite characters, but I don't think he'd be my choice for president. Probably Foggy Nelson; he's the most decent guy there.

Or Stephen Colbert. Joey promised.

That 1.23% voted for Amanda Waller scares the ever-living poo outta me. Perry White works best for me; a good heart and he gets things done.

Jefferson Pierce, your favorite son, would work out swell, too. But I know too many people in the Obama campaign, and I think Pierce would need them, too.

Pogo can't have the job. Term limits, you know.

Oliver Warbucks? For those who think Amanda Waller's a softie? But, oddly, Mammy Yokum doesn't scare me at all. I'd go with her, since the Jeep wasn't born in the U.S.

Best choice on any of your lists: Grandma Duck. Hands down. Or...whatever they are.
To check all the cool columns and comics at ComicMix, direct your browser here:

www.comicmix.com

I also heard from Andrew Horn:
I voted for Doc Savage but I see your point. Perhaps elevation to the highest office means that he would have the established legal system to use and therefore not need to do those things. Unfortunately, any thought of voting for a superhero has to come with the acceptance that they are a vigilante and therefore on some level a loose cannon. That being said, what about Peter Cannon, Thunderbolt? Now there's a spiritual guy.

However in the issue of Lamont Cranston, don't be fooled. He is not the Shadow; he's a separate person whose identity the Shadow often uses. The man you want is Kent Allard. But of course that's a secret.
Finally, I have this from Anthony Tollin, series editor of the Doc Savage and Shadow double-novel books currently published by Nostalgia Ventures:
How can you actively campaign against the candidacy of Clark Savage, Jr., when he shares the same birthday with your Sainted Wife Barbara?
I did send him a card.

To celebrate Doc Savage's 75th birthday, TOT readers should go to my pal Anthony's website...

www.shadowsanctum.com

...and order some of those spiffy Doc Savage and Shadow books from him. Those classic tales transcend partisan politics and are just the ticket to put the election behind us.

******

The primaries are over and the general election is here. To vote for Barbara Gordon, Pogo Possum, Joseph "Robbie" Robertson, or Clark Savage, Jr., go here:

www.worldfamouscomics.com/tony/poll

The ballot box will remain open until sometime after midnight on Tuesday morning, February 26, 2008. When the ballot box closes, new poll questions will be posted.

Thanks for spending a part of your day with me. I'll be back Tuesday with more stuff.

Tony Isabella

<< 02/19/2008 | 02/20/2008 | 02/26/2008 >>

Discuss this column with me at my Message Board. Also, read Heroes and Villains: Real and Imagined.

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THE "TONY" SCALE

Zero Tonys
ZERO: Burn your money before buying any comic receiving this rating. It doesn't *necessarily* mean there's absolutely nothing of value here - though it *could* - but whatever value it might possess shrinks into insignificance before its overall awfulness.

Tony
ONE: Buy something else. Maybe I found something which wasn't completely dreadful in the item, but not enough for me to recommend it when there are better comics available. I only want what's best for you, my children.

TonyTony
TWO: Basic judgment call. I found some value, but not enough to recommend it. My review should give you enough info to decide if you want to take a chance on it. Are you feeling lucky today, punk? Well, are you?

TonyTonyTony
THREE: This denotes something I find perfectly respectable. There are better books out there, but I wouldn't regret buying this item. Based on my review, you should be able to determine if it's of interest to you. Let the Force guide you.

TonyTonyTonyTony
FOUR: I recommend anything earning this rating. Unless you don't like the genre, subject matter, or past work of the creators, I believe you'll enjoy this item. Isn't it uncanny how I can look right into your soul that way?

TonyTonyTonyTonyTony
FIVE: Anything getting this rating is among the best comicdom has to offer. You should buy/read this, even if the genre/subject matter doesn't appeal to you. It's for your own good. Me, I live for comics and books this good...but not in a pathetic "Comic-Book Guy" sort of way.



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