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Tony's Online Tips
Reviews and commentary by Tony Isabella
"America's Most Beloved Comic-Book Writer & Columnist"

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TONY'S ONLINE TIPS
for Thursday, May 5, 2005

My Girl Pearl 7

We're kicking off this edition of TOT with a resounding happy birthday to comics legend STAN GOLDBERG. The esteemed artist and colorist has been in the business for over half a century, getting his start as a staff colorist for Timely (Marvel) in 1949. Since then, I'd guesstimate he's drawn and/or colored tens of thousands of pages of comics: ranging from horror stories to the delightful escapades of Patsy Walker, Millie the Model, Binky, Scooter, Debbi, and, naturally, Archie Andrews and the rest of the Riverdale High School gang. He was *the* colorist for all Marvel's titles in the 1960s dawn of the Marvel Universe and, as such, the color designer of all its new super-heroes and super-villains. If all that *and* Goldberg's wonderful work on the current Archie titles don't add up to "legend" status, I don't know what would.

Looking for something unexpected for our opening illustration, I came across MY GIRL PEARL #7 [August, 1960]. This series ran 11 issues, but they were spread out over seven years.

One could arguably cite "dizzy dames" as a comics sub-genre. Pearl Dimly - yes, that was her name - was named "America's Darling Dim-Wit" on the cover of her April, 1955 premiere. Writer Stan Lee and artist Dan DeCarlo did four issues that year before the series was canceled. There were two more Lee/DeCarlo issues published in the summer of 1957. I don't know if these issues featured newly-created material or inventory left over from 1955.

When MY GIRL PEARL resumed publication with the above issue, Goldberg was the new artist and the cover copy was somewhat kinder. Above the logo, Pearl was "The Teen-Age Doll!" Further down on the cover, she was "America's Dizziest Teenager!" Hmm...does that make this issue a prototype for DC's Vertigo imprint?

Inside the issue, Pearl's lead story was "The Dentist and the Dumbbelle." Okay, maybe I was wrong about that "somewhat kinder" attitude towards our young heroine.

I confess I know very little about the teen and "girl" humor comics of the 1950s and thereabouts. I have seen examples of this "dizzy dames" sub-genre, but I wonder if comics had an equivalent sub-genre for "moronic males" or the like. Maybe there was no need for such, given how often Archie and his fellows were depicted as cheap, clueless, slothful, unreasonably prideful, and unrelentingly horny...or various combinations of the above.

Getting back to the esteemed Goldberg...

Daniel Best's ADELAIDE COMICS has a great new interview with Stan. You can read it by following the prompts at:

www.adelaidecomicsandbooks.com

Goldberg maintains his own website as well:

www.stangoldberg.com

Our MY GIRL PEARL cover comes from Greg Gatlin's exceptional ATLAS TALES website:

www.atlastales.com

Once more, with feeling, let me wish the happiest of birthdays to STAN GOLDBERG. He's a great comics creator who has entertained millions of readers over the years...and he's a swell human being to boot. Many happy returns of the day, sir.

******

ABSOLUTELY SOMETIMES

I don't know if it will fly in all cases, but I'm embracing a new political theory called "absolutely sometimes." My inspiration for this came from a poll question posted at EXCITE.COM a few days ago [Friday, April 29]:

After an easy House victory, a bill that would make it harder for minors to cross state lines to end pregnancies without telling a parent is headed to the U.S. Senate. The House bill would impose fines or jail time on adults who accompany minors across state lines to circumvent parental notification or consent laws. Abortion rights advocates say the bill would cut off an escape route for pregnant girls and make criminals of the relatives, friends and doctors who try to help them. Do you support the House bill that would make it harder for minors to cross state lines in order to end pregnancies without telling a parent?

The choices offered were "yes","no", and "I'm not sure". When last I checked, over 10,000 people had voted on this question with 52% choosing "yes" and 44% choosing "no" (including myself) and 3% choosing "I'm not sure".

"No" was the closest to my position, but it isn't actually my position. I'm generally against abortion except in cases of rape, incest, or to protect the mother's health...with the last being a decision rightfully left to the woman and her doctor(s). However, despite those bloodthirsty right-wingers who want to execute kids, I think we properly make a difference between adults and minors in most if not all of our laws...and I'm not sure a young minor should have the final say in the decision to have an abortion.

I say "young minor" in recognition of the sad fact that kids sometimes have sex before even reaching their teen years. On the other hand, "older minors" - and I'm going throw out 15 to 18 years old as a rough "strike zone" - may be mature enough to make such a decision. This is where my theory of "absolutely sometimes" comes into play.

Laws should not be written to be so absolute the courts can't take into account special circumstances. We call them "judges" for a reason and, within reasonable guidelines, we should allow them to weigh the facts of a situation and make their rulings. There may be - and often are - compelling reasons to forego notification of a older minor's parents and not require their consent if the older minor has chosen to have an abortion.

Beyond this specific issue, I don't think we should be rushing to create new crimes when the existing ones are already filling our prisons to overflow. Indeed, it would probably do us a lot of good to get rid of some of the older crimes, especially those which pose little harm to society at large. But that's a discussion for some other time and column.

Getting back to this specific matter...

Am I pro-choice or pro-life?

Absolutely.

Sometimes.

******

TONY POLLS

Almost every week, we post new TONY POLLS questions for your entertainment and our education. Here are the completed results of our late April polling.

This year's Eisner Awards nominees have been announced. Roughly speaking, what percentage of these nominated works have you read?

100%.....0%
90%.....0%
80%.....0%
70%.....7.77%
60%.....1.94%
50%.....9.71%
40%.....14.56%
30%.....13.59%
20%.....9.71%
10%.....9.71%
Less than 10%.....33.01%

Being exceedingly generous with myself, I figure I read maybe 30% of the nominated works or works by nominated creators. One of these years, I hope to get my act together to the extent that I can read and review all the nominees in both the Eisner Awards and the Harvey Awards before the winners are named.

How well do you think the Eisner Award nominations reflect the preferences of avid comics readers, those that purchase a dozen or more comic books, graphic novels, manga volumes, or trades each month.

Very well.....0%
Well.....8%
Moderately well.....41%
Not very well.....39%
Poorly.....12%

I voted with the MODERATELY WELL crowd, but I suspect that's mostly because, as a former Eisner judge myself, I know first-hand the hard work and sheer agony that go into the nominating process. Extraordinary creators and work don't always make the final ballot, lesser creators and work sometimes do. Overall, though, I can look at most of the nominees with which I'm familiar and have little or no problem with their place on that final ballot.

Which of the following awards do you feel best reflects the preferences of avid comics readers?

COMICS BUYER'S GUIDE FAN AWARDS.....65%
Wizard Fan Awards.....16%
Eisner Awards.....13%
Harvey Awards.....6%

I had to go with the CBG awards, even though I winced when the readers who voted in them gave first or high rankings to work which simply wasn't very good. However, for what it's worth, the other awards have triggered their fair share of winces from me as well. It's the nature of the awards-beast.

Which of these creators do you feel *most* deserves to be voted into the Eisner Awards Hall of Fame?

GENE COLAN.....24.80%
William Moulton Marston.....14.40%
Wayne Boring....12%
Floyd Gottfredson.....10.40%
Nick Cardy.....8%
Robert Kanigher.....7.20%
Graham Ingels.....5.60%
Hugo Pratt.....4.80%
Johnny Craig.....4%
Matt Baker.....3.20%
Frank Robbins.....3.20%
Reed Crandall.....1.60%
Yves Chaland.....0.80%
Frank Hampson.....0%

Everyone who voted on this question had a more difficult time of it than those who will vote on the actual Eisner award in this category. The Eisners ballot allows you to vote for three of the above choices; we only let you vote for one.

Almost every individual on the list deserves to be in the Hall of Fame. Indeed, I never quite understood why the administrators set an arbitrary limit on how many creators can be inducted in any given year.

On my first pass through the list, I narrowed my choices down to eight. By the third pass, I was down to Matt Baker (because he and his work deserve to be much better known than they are), Johnny Craig (one of the best storytellers in comics history), and Frank Robbins (a terrific writer and artist who was also one of my all-time favorite collaborators). It took me hours to choose between these three creators. At the end of my deliberations, what carried my vote was my conviction that his being elected to the Hall would go a long way toward giving MATT BAKER the recognition that he and his work deserve.

Intending no disrespect toward anyone else on the above list of nominees, Baker, Craig, and Robbins will be getting my votes on the actual Eisner ballot.

This week's TONY POLLS questions were all suggested by my pal JON KNUTSON, who also provided most of the choices.

The questions:

Which recent comics event has angered or annoyed you the most? Be warned that there are SPOILERS in the choices offered for this question...and my apologies for not including that SPOILER WARNING until after a couple dozen folks had voted on them.

Which DC Comics title would you most like to see revived as an ongoing series?

Which Marvel Comics title would you most like to see revived as an ongoing series?

Which non-Marvel/non-DC comic book would you most like to see revived as an ongoing series?

The questions will remain active until sometime after midnight on Monday night, May 8, to be replaced by new questions during the following day. You can cast your votes at:

www.worldfamouscomics.com/tony/poll

Thanks for spending a part of your day with me. I'll be back tomorrow with more stuff.

Tony Isabella

<< 05/04/2005 | 05/05/2005 | 05/06/2005 >>

Discuss this column with me at my Message Board. Also, read Heroes and Villains: Real and Imagined.

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THE "TONY" SCALE

Zero Tonys
ZERO: Burn your money before buying any comic receiving this rating. It doesn't *necessarily* mean there's absolutely nothing of value here - though it *could* - but whatever value it might possess shrinks into insignificance before its overall awfulness.

Tony
ONE: Buy something else. Maybe I found something which wasn't completely dreadful in the item, but not enough for me to recommend it when there are better comics available. I only want what's best for you, my children.

TonyTony
TWO: Basic judgment call. I found some value, but not enough to recommend it. My review should give you enough info to decide if you want to take a chance on it. Are you feeling lucky today, punk? Well, are you?

TonyTonyTony
THREE: This denotes something I find perfectly respectable. There are better books out there, but I wouldn't regret buying this item. Based on my review, you should be able to determine if it's of interest to you. Let the Force guide you.

TonyTonyTonyTony
FOUR: I recommend anything earning this rating. Unless you don't like the genre, subject matter, or past work of the creators, I believe you'll enjoy this item. Isn't it uncanny how I can look right into your soul that way?

TonyTonyTonyTonyTony
FIVE: Anything getting this rating is among the best comicdom has to offer. You should buy/read this, even if the genre/subject matter doesn't appeal to you. It's for your own good. Me, I live for comics and books this good...but not in a pathetic "Comic-Book Guy" sort of way.



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