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Reviews and commentary by Tony Isabella
"America's Most Beloved Comic-Book Writer & Columnist"
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TONY'S ONLINE TIPS
for Thursday, March 17, 2005
Happy St. Patrick's Day to those TOT readers who celebrate the not-really-a-holiday. I hope you enjoy yourselves in a responsible manner, which, as I view it, would require remaining in your homes away from all the drunks out there.
I am not fond - really? - of St. Patrick's Day. More than any holy figure or nationality, what it actually seems to celebrate is drinking to excess. My German-Irish wife will be with the maternal side of her family this evening and I will be dreading every phone call until she comes home safely. She will enjoy the gathering in as responsible a manner as humanly possible given that she won't be at Casa Isabella with me, but she won't be alone on the roads when she drives home.
Yes, I am just a big girl and not in the capable, liberated, and loaded-with-self-esteem sense of the term. Our children will be staying home with me tonight.
If I celebrate St. Patrick's Day at all - time permitting - I will do so by watching THE QUIET MAN, which is either my favorite or second-favorite movie depending on whether I've seen it or IT'S ALWAYS FAIR WEATHER most recently. Directed by John Ford, the 1952 film stars John Wayne and Maureen O'Hara.
The short version of my love and admiration for the movie goes something like this:
John Wayne gives his best performance ever as Sean Thornton, a retired boxer who has returned to his native Ireland in search of peace. Maureen O'Hara plays the feisty Mary Kate Danaher; in the entire history of cinema, no actress has ever looked more beautiful on the screen than O'Hara does in this movie. The film has a great story, real emotion, delightful humor, engaging supporting players, and that breathtaking Irish countryside, as much a character as any actor or actress in the cast.
I could go on and on about THE QUIET MAN, but, instead, I'll direct you to the INTERNET MOVIE DATABASE entry at...
www.imdb.com/title/tt0045061
...which has complete cast and crew listings, amusing trivia about the movie, and page after page of comments from other viewers who love THE QUIET MAN as much as I do.
Stay safe, my beloved readers...and now let's see what else I have for you today.
******
SEVEN SOLDIERS
I've been reading Grant Morrison comics of late, usually more than once. The main reasons for this are:
His writing style isn't as smooth as I prefer.
His comics are dense with ideas.
I can be dense, too, albeit in a different way.
I'm enjoying Morrison's VIMANARAMA for DC's Vertigo imprint, but won't be reviewing that series until I read its third and final issue. Which I eagerly await.
When my latest DC box arrived, I couldn't resist diving right into SEVEN SOLDIERS #0 [$2.95], SHINING KNIGHT #1 [$2.99], and even THE SEVEN SOLDIERS OF VICTORY ARCHIVES VOLUME 1 [$49.95]. Morrison didn't have anything to do with that last one, but what kind of fan would I be if I didn't include it with the others? Certainly not the retentive one you've come to know and love.
A convenient way to describe Morrison's new super-hero effort is to quote DC's own promotional copy, even though it's real heavy on the hype:
From the mind of Grant Morrison...a whole new world in the DC Universe.
In the most ambitious new storytelling venture in modern comics history, writer Grant Morrison and a group of the top artists in comics join forces to redefine the concept of the super-hero. The stars of SEVEN SOLDIERS are a long way from anyone's idea of a traditional costumed hero, but they just may be our only chance of survival.
SEVEN SOLDIERS comprises seven 4-issue miniseries - KLARION, MISTER MIRACLE, FRANKENSTEIN, ZATANNA, THE GUARDIAN, BULLETEER, and SHINING KNIGHT - and two bookend Specials, all of which may be read independently. Together, however, they tell a colossal tale unlike any seen in comics before. As a new generation of super-heroes - many of them drawn from DC's incomparable history and reimagined by Morrison and his collaborators - grapples with a harsher, weirder world, Morrison combines dazzling super-hero action with horror, mystery, epic fantasy and gothic pulp to carve out a new corner in the DCU.
Whew! They lay it on pretty thick, don't they?
The DCU seems to be getting a lot of new corners these days, all of them dark. VP-Executive Editor Dan Didio has gone on record talking about what a scaredy-pants he's been since 9-11, so that's not surprising. The approach does have some validity, but, I wish someone - maybe a lot of someones - would give Didio a hug and buy him a bright balloon and an ice cream cone, just something to bring some balance back to the DCU. Feel free to do any and all of these things if you see Didio at conventions. I think that could be big fun for everyone.
SPOILERS AHEAD
Now that we're all clear on DC's exaggerated claims for SEVEN SOLDIERS and how the series of miniseries will play out, let's look at the first of the bookend editions.
SEVEN SOLDIERS #0 stars the six soldiers of abject defeat and doom. Morrison and artist J.H. Williams bring together one veteran and five new-to-me super-heroes to save a town from a centuries-old threat only to find that the threat was mere bait, created by alien gods who like hunting heroes.
Darn that Morrison! I was getting into most of these heroes before he went and slaughtered them. I always thought the original Vigilante was neat, combining the costumed hero and western genres. The new Whip is the granddaughter of the original 1940s Zorro-like hero and fears that she's more crazy fetish person than super-hero. Gimmix is the face-lifted "Merry, Girl of a 1000 Gimmicks," sister of the first Star-Spangled Kid. Boy Blue's a 15-year-old Mexican with a ghost suit and a sonic weapon in the shape of a horn. Dyno-Mite Dan is a super-hero fan who bought the power rings of TNT and Dan the Dyna-Mite on eBay. Spyder is the cold-blooded descendent of the hero in the "Alias the Spider" feature which appeared in the 1940s CRACK COMICS. I couldn't take my eyes of Gimmix; she could be great fun to write. Darn that Morrison!
Give Morrison credit for making these characters so intriguing before they meet their dooms. When the big reveal comes at the end of the issue, it hits hard.
Some other SEVEN SOLDIERS notes for you:
There are "Seven Unknown Men" who bring the heroes together in this bookend edition. Morrison doesn't reveal anything substantial about them. Comic-book mysteries of this nature fail to deliver a satisfying payoff more often than not. Unless the mystery is key to the overall series of miniseries, I would sooner have it dealt with early. The longer Morrison waits, the stronger the ultimate payoff will need to be.
Morrison's writing is excellent throughout this issue, which it had to be for us to care about the characters in the brief time we know them. One line of dialogue haunts me. Talking to the new Whip, the Vigilante reveals:
"My plan was to recreate my old team, the SEVEN SOLDIERS, but my seventh soldier got cold feet at the last minute."
Part of me wants to know who that non-soldier was. Part of me relishes not knowing.
The art? Williams *is* one of the top artists in comics and does not disappoint here. He draw spooky swamps, swinging super-heroes, quiet moments, and stark terror with equal power and skill. Colorist Dave Stewart and letterer Todd Klein add to the over-all visuals. This is a great-looking comic book.
SEVEN SOLDIERS #0 gets this Morrison event off the ground in fine fashion. It earns the full five Tonys.
Next column: SHINING KNIGHT #1.
******
COMICS IN THE COMICS
More comics references in the strips, commencing with Johnny Hart's B.C. strip for March 13:
The shrinking size of comic strips is a common complaint for cartoonists and their readers alike. While I'm sure there isn't a whole lot of overlap between the strips Hart likes and the strips I like, we're in agreement on this. Alas, the modern-day economics of newspaper publishing likely precludes any reversal of this sad trend. These days, it would be a major victory if my local papers would stop adding fold-over advertising to the front pages of their Sunday comics section.
Closer to home - since FUNKY WINKERBEAN takes place in a city much like the Medina, Ohio of both myself and creator Tom Batiuk - the troubles of John the comic shop owner continue.
Judging from the online talk, many readers think Becky's mom is acting from motives that are unrelated to the "offensive" comic books themselves, that she holds some grudge against John from when he was dating Becky or that she wants to keep Becky from having her wedding at Montoni's pizza place. I haven't asked Tom about this because I wanted to enjoy this storyline without knowing how it'll play out, but I will say this much:
Almost *all* cases like this stem from less-than-pure motives. In the famous Texas case, the complaining mother was pissed because the store owner wouldn't give her a discount on Pokemon cards. In most cases, an ambitious politician or prosecutor sees a chance to get some press by going after an easy target...or a religious group uses that time-tested tactic of using fear to overcome reason and thus gain support among the uninformed. I don't know if this FUNKY WINKERBEAN story is going that road, but, if it does, it would be in keeping with its real-life counterparts.
Finally, in Pat Brady's ROSE IS ROSE for March 14-16, the comic shop is portrayed as a place of excitement and innocent fun. That might not be a completely realistic depiction in these days of IDENTITY CRISIS, but it's nice to imagine.
Look for more "comics in the comics" in future TOTs.
******
TV TALK
The PATRIOT Act has given TV cops a new intimidation tool for coercing confessions and information out of suspects. In the COLD CASE episode - "Strange Fruit" - which aired on Sunday, March 13, the detectives question a career criminal about the kidnaping and murder of a child several years previously. The "interview" takes place at a Middle-Eastern restaurant where the criminal routinely sells fake IDs to high-school students.
The detectives threaten to turn the criminal over to the FBI for selling counterfeit government documents, making special note of where - the Middle-Eastern restaurant - he conducts his illicit business. Faced with being detained indefinitely and without legal counsel, the criminal starts singing.
COLD CASE is one of my favorite shows with engaging stories, interesting characters whose personal dramas figure in the episodes without overwhelming the main plots, excellent writing and acting, and the impressive portrayals of times past as the detectives work on cases which have gone unsolved for, in some cases, decades. If this were a review, I'd be giving the show five Tonys.
******
WANTED! MORE READERS LIKE...
...DARIO DELFINO, who has been using a Tony-quote in the .sig file of his Usenet posts. I don't believe I've had the pleasure of corresponding with or meeting Delfino, but I chuckle every time I see my quote - "You can beat the young-at-heart comics fan with a crowbar and blow him up, but his basic optimism endures." - at the end of his posts. The guy has definitely made Google-searching for my name in newsgroups more interesting.
Thanks for spending a part of your day with me. I'll be back soon with more stuff.
Tony Isabella
<< 03/16/2005 | 03/17/2005 | 03/18/2005 >>
Discuss this column with me at my Message Board. Also, read Heroes and Villains: Real and Imagined.
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THE "TONY" SCALE
ZERO: Burn your money before buying any comic receiving this rating. It doesn't *necessarily* mean there's absolutely nothing of value here - though it *could* - but whatever value it might possess shrinks into insignificance before its overall awfulness.
ONE: Buy something else. Maybe I found something which wasn't completely dreadful in the item, but not enough for me to recommend it when there are better comics available. I only want what's best for you, my children.
TWO: Basic judgment call. I found some value, but not enough to recommend it. My review should give you enough info to decide if you want to take a chance on it. Are you feeling lucky today, punk? Well, are you?
THREE: This denotes something I find perfectly respectable. There are better books out there, but I wouldn't regret buying this item. Based on my review, you should be able to determine if it's of interest to you. Let the Force guide you.
FOUR: I recommend anything earning this rating. Unless you don't like the genre, subject matter, or past work of the creators, I believe you'll enjoy this item. Isn't it uncanny how I can look right into your soul that way?
FIVE: Anything getting this rating is among the best comicdom has to offer. You should buy/read this, even if the genre/subject matter doesn't appeal to you. It's for your own good. Me, I live for comics and books this good...but not in a pathetic "Comic-Book Guy" sort of way.
Please send material you would like me to review to:
Tony's Online Tips
840 Damon Drive
Medina, OH 44256
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