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Thoughts on writing and publishing, and the various sources of entertainment...
A weekly column by Abel G. Peña, best known for his Star Wars work.
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THE PHILODOXER for 06/18/2006
Paper, Roaches, "The Mix," and Stones: The Art of Joint Rolling
Getting the mix right is half the art of joint-rolling. There's plenty of scope for choice but quantity is never a substitute for quality-don't waste your lungs on inferior ingredients. - From The Joint Rolling Handbook
I've always been a late bloomer, so I only really learned how to roll a J two weekends ago while wine tasting in Napa Valley. Wine and weedo-talk about chillin the fuck out.
When I was younger I felt strongly that there was something particularly spiritual about smoking from the joint as opposed to the bong or pipe. The years have since cured me of this misconception, but it's still fun to let the illusion of nostalgia rule you every now and then.
Enter Richard Kemplay's The Joint Rolling Handbook.
Turn off that Half-Baked, Super Troopers, or Harold & Kumar DVD Monsieur Stoner, and do a little reading! The Joint Rolling Handbook explains how prepare a dozen different kinds of Js, from an easy-to-roll Knee Trembler, your traditional Saturday Night Special and a bluntastic Joker to plain wacky concoctions like the Diamond and the Windmill, and ultimately the worship-worthy cannabis cigar. With easy-to-follow instructions and simple illustrations ("Stick two papers together at a 45º angle as shown," "Carefully trim away any excess paper from all four joints, leaving the mix flush with the paper"), and sections titled, "Rolling," "The Mix," "Roaches," and "Paper," the book is full of lots of helpful info for newbies or hard core blazers who just want to get a kick out of how seriously you can talk about bud without sounding like a tool.
Also included is a nice little section on health, a description of what being high is like, short-term and long-term effects of getting fucked up, and consequences of getting caught, both legal and social.
So bone up on your knowledge with this book, head over to your local gas station, buy some papers and a lighter, and call up your black-sheep-of-the-family second cousin Mary Jane and share a healthy laugh with her over your newfound horticultural skills.
Adios folks!
-- Abel
Abel G. Peña does not condone or encourage the illegal use of marijuana or any other controlled substance. That's what Amsterdam's for.
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Discuss this column with me in World Famous Comics' General Forum and at Pop Culture Bored.
Also, visit my website at www.abelgpena.com.
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