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Tony's Online Tips
Reviews and commentary by Tony Isabella
"America's Most Beloved Comic-Book Writer & Columnist"

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TONY'S ONLINE TIPS
for Thursday, November 16, 2006

Superman Returns

I'm still in DREADED DEADLINE DOOM territory, but I also have e-mails of interest to share with you. In response to my November 13 comments about SUPERMAN RETURNS, I received this note from JESS NEVINS:

No substantive disagreement with what you wrote, but I thought that the biggest problem in the movie was Lois Lane. She came off, to me and my wife, anyhow, as shrill, petulant, and not at all worth the love of two good men. I didn't find her at all attractive, certainly not worthy of Superman's love. Worst of all, she took her child with her while reporting; she knowingly, deliberately took her child into a dangerous situation. That the boy had Superman's powers and wasn't in danger isn't the issue; Lois had no way of knowing that.

Health and Human Services should raid her house and take the boy away from her. She's a criminal for exposing her child to danger like that, and at the least should lose custody, if not see the inside of a jail cell.

That's not the Lois any of us know and remember.

I can't disagree with you, Jess. I was giving Lois too much credit for choosing Richard over Superman.

BOB INGERSOLL had no problem disagreeing with my comment re: SUPERMAN II about my willingness to grant Superman "the moment of human weakness that leaves him powerless when the world needs him most." The distinguished attorney wrote:

An unfair criticism this. Superman agreed to give up his powers, BEFORE he knew Zod and the others were free. As soon as he learned, this, he immediately went back to the Fortress to correct his mistake. So he didn't knowingly give up his powers when the world needed him the most.

Regardless of whether Superman knew the Zod gang was free, it was still a human weakness for him to abandon his responsibilities as Superman...and, it turned out, that moment of weakness came just as the world needed him most. I didn't claim he knew how much the world needed him at that exact moment, but I still think he failed his "powers/responsibility" test. However, by immediately heading back to the Fortress when he learns what happened during his booty call, Superman did ace his makeup test.

In Monday's column, I also wrote:

"The big finish bothers me as well. Superman is dying when he is rescued...and still shaky when Lois gets most of the kryptonite dagger out of his wound. He flies up into the sky for a quick bit of sun therapy and then has the strength to lift a small continent out of the ocean and into outer space. It looked impressive as heck, but not at all convincing. Wouldn't the chunks that fell off the mini-continent and back into the sea keep growing?"

Bob wrote:

I wondered the same thing. Thom Zahler gave me an explanation which satisfies me. As Superman wouldn't have been able to survive lifting the new continent directly - given that it was made up of Kryptonite - we can only assume, he didn't. Thom speculates that he went deep into the Earth, disconnected the continent and chunk of the Earth's mantel that it was touching. It's the Earth's mantel that Superman is touching and holding on the underside of the new continent. It's pieces of the mantel, not the new continent, which are falling back into the water. Hence no new continents.

My memory is that glowing shards of kryptonite were clearly shown embedded in the continent and in close proximity to Superman as he lifted said continent. Can I have a show of hands as to how many TOT readers also recall it that way?

Thanks to Jess and Bob for sharing their comments with me and thee. My e-mailbox is always open. Don't be shy about weighing in on the various items featured in my columns.

And thanks to all of you for spending a part of your day with me. I'll be back soon with more stuff.

Tony Isabella

<< 11/15/2006 | 11/16/2006 | 11/17/2006 >>

Discuss this column with me at my Message Board. Also, read Heroes and Villains: Real and Imagined.

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THE "TONY" SCALE

Zero Tonys
ZERO: Burn your money before buying any comic receiving this rating. It doesn't *necessarily* mean there's absolutely nothing of value here - though it *could* - but whatever value it might possess shrinks into insignificance before its overall awfulness.

Tony
ONE: Buy something else. Maybe I found something which wasn't completely dreadful in the item, but not enough for me to recommend it when there are better comics available. I only want what's best for you, my children.

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TWO: Basic judgment call. I found some value, but not enough to recommend it. My review should give you enough info to decide if you want to take a chance on it. Are you feeling lucky today, punk? Well, are you?

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THREE: This denotes something I find perfectly respectable. There are better books out there, but I wouldn't regret buying this item. Based on my review, you should be able to determine if it's of interest to you. Let the Force guide you.

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FOUR: I recommend anything earning this rating. Unless you don't like the genre, subject matter, or past work of the creators, I believe you'll enjoy this item. Isn't it uncanny how I can look right into your soul that way?

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FIVE: Anything getting this rating is among the best comicdom has to offer. You should buy/read this, even if the genre/subject matter doesn't appeal to you. It's for your own good. Me, I live for comics and books this good...but not in a pathetic "Comic-Book Guy" sort of way.



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