World Famous Comics: When We're in Public, Pretend You Don't Know Me: Surviving Your Daughter's Adolescence So You Don't Look Like an Idiot and She Still Talks to You
When We're in Public, Pretend You Don't Know Me: Surviving Your Daughter's Adolescence So You Don't Look Like an Idiot and She Still Talks to You
By: Susan Borowitz Publisher: Grand Central Publishing Average Rating: Binding: Paperback Format: Bargain Price Label: Grand Central Publishing Number of Items: 1 Number of Pages: 288 Publication Date: April 01, 2003
Product Description: For every woman struggling to raise a teenage daughter comes a hilarious yet practical guide to help mothers survive these trying years. "The two worst times in a woman's life is when she is 13 and when her daughter is 13," or so goes a popular maxim in psychology circles. During these adolescent years, mothers are constantly struggling with how to handle their daughters--and themselves around their daughters. WHEN WE'RE IN PUBLIC... is a survival handbook that discusses such important issues as beauty and body image, public behavior (both hers and moms), privileges and punishment, and sex. Written by the mother of a teenage daughter and featuring expert advice from a noted child psychologist, the book also offers simple steps to avoid disaster (i.e. before you think of dressing like your daughter, remember one word: Cher) and practical wisdom culled from numerous interviews with mothers of teenage daughters.
99% of this book is GREAT! I have a 13 year old daughter, and this book really resonated with me. I was pleasantly surprised to find that I already fit in the "Uncool Mom" category, but I still learned a lot from the common sense tips. I also really enjoyed the way that this book is written, with humor and anecdotes that keep you in stitches while helping you understand your daughter just a little better.
My one problem with the book was when the author recommended not teaching abstinance. I do think that it's naive to ONLY teach abstinance, but I think teaching kids that abstinance is an option is very important. By not teaching abstinance at all, but teaching kids about safe sex, what they will hear is that they are expected to have pre-marital sex. When you teach abstinance AND safe sex in conjunction, you are telling them that if they don't want to, it's a valid choice and they should feel confident in it, and if they do choose to have sex, here's how to stay safe.
Easy read with a few laughs I am preparing for a teenage daughter (in about 3 years) and am trying to open myself up to a variety of tactics to handle those bouts of emotions. This book was an easy read and came with a few laughs, to prepare for the onslaught of teenage cruelty. The author shares her experiences with the rest of us, but it is up to us to decide what is best for our children. As an Uncool mom in training, I recommend this book to glean different perspectives in adolescent separation.
excellent with one big BUT.... I really liked this book except for one thing which echoes what a previous reviewer said. teens can and do abstain. I know quite a few of them. people in the media saying that kids cant abstain so teaching abstinance leads to a downward spiral: who wants to try and do the impossible. this aside though, this is an excellent book. I read some of the parts to my husband and we wondered if this woman has been in our home eavesdropping.
Laughing all the way to adulthood I am the mother of a 14 year-old girl. She's a great kid, but when she went away to camp for a month and people asked me if I missed her, I said, "NO."
I'm a pretty good mom; I used to teach teenagers, and I have some clue about what this age is about. Still, Borowitz's book had me laughing out loud, and while I was laughing, some new ideas slipped in. Life post-camp is looking a little brighter.
Hilarious and helpful Okay, I'm not a parent, let alone parent of a teenager...but I will be someday, and I'm interested, so I'm thinking about it and reading up. Here's what I'm thinking about this book:
I love it. It's wryly funny -- even occasionally hysterical -- and much of it rings true from watching my relatives bring up teenagers, being one not too long ago myself (though I didn't have some of the more extreme issues I notice in others), watching my own mom cope with me, and seeing the daily struggles between my peers and their moms when we were teens. There's a lot of "common sense" here, but don't let that statement fool you into thinking the book's useless; the best of us sometimes forget to exercise our "common" sense.
I particularly appreciate the ("common sense?") idea that moms should not fall into the trap of being "clueless" or the opposite trap of being your daughter's "cool" best friend. The best way to be both parent and friend is to be what Mrs. Borowitz calls "the uncool mom:" setting good boundaries, remaining in control, being yourself, picking your battles, and butting out when your daughter needs to manage on her own (which is more often than you think.) My own mother did a generally great job of this, and we are now what one might call "best friends" as adults -- still very much mother-daughter, but with mutual respect, friendship, and tolerance built out of (usually, and usually this was Mom's doing) handling our conflicts in a healthy way when I was a minor. This book is written by a mom who sounds a lot like mine...but even my mom could have learned something from her.