World Famous Comics: Surviving Ophelia: Mothers Share Their Wisdom in Navigating the Tumultuous Teenage Years
Surviving Ophelia: Mothers Share Their Wisdom in Navigating the Tumultuous Teenage Years
By: Ph.D. Cheryl Dellasega Average Rating: Binding: Hardcover Format: Bargain Price Number of Items: 1 Number of Pages: 256 Publication Date: August 31, 2001
Product Description: Why are the teen years fraught with crisis for so many girls? Why do so many mother-daughter relationships deteriorate drastically at this time? When her own teenage daughter began to spiral out of control, therapist Cheryl Dellasega, Ph.D., launched a nationwide search to find answers— and hope. In this inspiring, compassionate book, Dellasega shares the strength and the wisdom of mothers who have seen their daughters through the tumult of adolescence.
Drawing on the experiences of scores of mothers and daughters, Dellasega takes a hard look at the lives of girls in crisis—once happy, carefree children who are now struggling with eating disorders, unplanned pregnancies, substance abuse, and severe mental problems. These are stories of girls on the edge, and mothers who are trying everything to save them. Yet even in the most desperate situations, Dellasega hears the same clear message: the key to survival is the support and the understanding of others going through the same thing.
Surviving Ophelia is a book that provides the community that mothers of troubled teenage girls need more than anything. Powerful and heartfelt, this book captures both the pain and the strength of mothers who are living with the daily challenge of raising teenage daughters today.
Amazon.com Review: Surviving Ophelia by Cheryl Dellasega, a clinician at Penn State's College of Medicine and a mother of three, provides a community for mothers who, like she, have the often bewildering and unnerving task of raising a teenage girl (an Ophelia) in trouble. By describing her own heartbreaking experience and compiling the stories and poems of hundreds of mothers across the country, Dellasega paints a picture of lost teenage girls and their mothers' fights to save not only their relationships, but often their daughters' lives. The book succeeds because the mothers describe distressing times candidly and openly, not in hushed tones often used when relaying deep family issues.
In response to Mary Pipher's bestselling Reviving Ophelia, these mothers share their thoughts and feelings on a multitude of topics including eating disorders, fitting in, depression, institutions, rebellion and boundaries, the absence or presence of fathers, and the "crazy soup emotions" of love, anger, and frustration. Surviving Ophelia is evidence that each teenager's situation is unparalleled, and Dellasega does not offer any finite solutions to the tumultuous teen years. Instead, the author and mothers provide parenting ideas, from the practical to the radical, and measure their own success and failure. In one letter titled, "Tears from a Rose," mother Rose states, "What I do for a living, what my real name is, and where I live seem irrelevant. What defines me is the hell I've lived through, and what I've learned along the way... I'd like to help other parents avoid some of the traps I fell into and find some of the helpful things I discovered."
The end of this book provides an appendix where mothers can find help for themselves and for their troubled daughters. It also includes letters from some of the mothers' daughters. These Ophelias describe challenges from their own points of view and share how they're feeling currently. --Rhonda Langdon
No solutions here, but some small comfort After reading all the stories contained in this short book, I felt a little comfort in knowing (as I should have all along...) that I'm not alone in my heartbreak as I try to cope with my 17 year old daughter's apparant inability to cope with the world and the life she's creating for herself. The author's own story is stuck here and there in between the other stories, which was not always a very effective or fitting technique. There are no solutions here, and not all of the stories even offer much hope. I did feel better after quickly reading this book, as I came to realize that I need to follow my gut in how I handle her but that I need to know when to say when, for my sake, and for my husband and son's sakes.
Worthwhile Read This book was recommended to me by a friend and I am glad I read it. I applaud all the contributors to this book for their bravery and honesty. It is a worthwhile book to read for parents of adolescent/teenage girls.
Frightening & comforting I can't wait for the next book in the Ophelia series. They have been such a comfort to me during my daughter's pre-adolescence. The stories are frightening because I, like most moms, worry about what direction my girl could be heading when she makes choices I disagree with. At the same time, it's comforting to be reminded that lots of other moms and daughters have come through this difficult time and made the best of whatever it brought them. The stories are so honest and so raw they can be shocking -- but that raw honesty brings with it an integrity that kept me reading and inspired admiration for Ms. Dellasega and for all the daughters & moms who shared their stories in this book.
A brilliant, affirming book This book is a must-read for any parent with a challenging teenage daughter. I cried while reading sections of the book, but it helped to reassure me that I am not alone as I watch my daughter stumble along the rocky path between adolescence and adulthood. This is a totally brilliant and much-needed book.
Releif to Know I Am Not Alone What an extraordinary book! I received this book in the mail when the pain over my 17 year old daughter leaving home, for no apparent reason, had just reached the "unbearable" stage. Through tears, I read the entire book within 24 hours. Before reading "Surviving Ophelia", I felt like the only (parenting professional) mom in the world who has poured 110% into my daughter only to suffer the ultimate pain. The question is always, "Why?" While my daughter is out in the world putting herself in harms way, I stand in the "gap" of, "Nothing we can do, she's 17." This book provided a blatant dose of solace, links to some tangible help and yielded some sense to a senseless situation. In essence, sometimes it's not about the child. Sometimes it is not about the way we parent. Sometimes there is no pat answer and no one to blame. I think any mother who is going through a rough time with her adolescent daughter can learn, and grow, and find strength in the words of "Surviving Ophelia." If you are looking for psycho-babble and parenting advice this is not that kind of book. If you are looking for good reading, mature insight and a bright ray of hope, this book passes many parenting books by a mile.
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