Description: Hollywood gangsters kidnap a Beverly Hills socialite in her Cadillac convertible and whisk her off to a remote mountain cabin where a curvy "starlet" in a spandex spacesuit lands in her "white light' spaceship to bring handsome leading man Robert Clarke a message and to heat up his hormones. One problem with this cosmic encounter--her touch is deadly! An Atomic Age cult classic that could have only come out of the Hollywood B-movie factory of the 1950s. If tough gangster dialogue, sleazy dames, petty crooks, rubber snakes, and Ed Wood films speak to you, this is the one!
Hollywood gangsters, a kidnapped socialite, and leading man Robert Clarke encounter a curvy "starlet" from space in a spandex spacesuit. But beware--her touch is deadly in this Atomic Age B-movie classic.
Avoid I like 50's Sci Fi B movies. I really do. The genre so often has an earnest, unashamed, love-me-in-spite-of-my many-flaws quality that makes it mockable at worst, entertaining at best. I've sat through Plan 9 for fun. I watched Manos on a dare and got all the way through it. I have a high tolerance for cheese products.
So believe me when I tell you that you can skip this one. The acting was awful to put it mildly, with the best performance turned in by the dog. (Second best was the gangster moll, when she was drunk.) The science was laughable even by the standards of the early 50's. The voice over narration during too much of the film - any is too much in this case - is literally embarrassing to listen to, an unworldly, painful mixture of grotesquely melodramatic words, read by someone who should not have been given a microphone.
Ah, you'll say, but it has a hot girl monster, the curvaceous Shirley Kilpatrick in it. Let me dash your hopes: they filmed her so out of focus, as part of some desperate attempt at special effects, that there's no joy to be had in looking at her. The few times you get any kind of a look at her, she's striking such absurd poses and making such shambling movements that you'll look away out of embarrassment, and if there's a pretty face under that makeup, you'll never know it. I seriously suspect the only reason this movie got made was that the producer/director wanted to bed the actress, and making this movie was his only hope. Nothing else explains the forced dialogue, awful-in-a-bad-way moldy swiss-cheese of a plot, Ed Woods style filming techniques, or continuity errors. As for the ending... no, I can't. Enough to say that there's no reward for sitting though this, just an insult to your intelligence waiting at the end. I paid $3 for the rental and I want my money back.
sci-fi Pretty stupid, like most of that era. Cheap theatrics, costumes and storyline. Not worth renting.
Inferior print For some reason Image Entertainment used a different print for their DVD version as opposed to their earlier VHS release.
I have this film on both media and the print used for the VHS is cleaner, with the exception of a loss of dialogue occurring at the thirty-eight-minute-mark due to an abrupt splice/jump in the film. The line of dialogue is clean and clear on the DVD. For those who only own or have seen the VHS the dialogue delivered by Nat, the lead kidnapper is as follows: "It's a synch someone survived because that thing wasn't from this world."
You would think that Image would at least use a print as good or better than what they previously used for their VHS release. Kind of defeats the whole purpose of the DVD format to use lower grade source material on a higher grade of media.
Don't Touch Me There! Yes, she's landed her spacecraft on our planet and started walking.... no, sauntering.... Um, slinking along in her painted-on outfit from beyond space! She's the ASTOUNDING SHE-MONSTER! Why has she come? What does she want?? Look out! Her touch causes instant death to any living thing! It turns rattlesnakes into rubber and bears into rugs! Our only hope is in the person of a geologist (Robert Clarke) and his faithful collie. Oops! The ASM has dispatched poor Lassie to that big kennel in the sky! What's this? Three kidnappers have arrived at the geologist's house in the woods, with their pretty young victim in tow. What will our geological hero do now? Watch as the ASM sashays... no, moseys along at a horrible pace, touching and killing things along the way! Can the rock guy and his unwanted guests possibly survive? It's all in the deadly hands of THE ASTOUNDING SHE-MONSTER! See her wiggle... no, slither through the trees, coming closer, closer! If her suit were any tighter, she'd be bleeding! Pray that she keeps her grabby fingers to herself! THE ASTOUNDING SHE MONSTER is a schlocky ball of cheese with a gooey center. Would make a great double bill with MESA OF LOST WOMEN or THE ATOMIC BRAIN (which may have used the same droning narrator)! ...
Her Touch Is Deadly! "The Astounding She-Monster" was made by directorial genius Ronnie Ashcroft for an amazing $18,000. He and star Robert Clarke did so well that Clarke netted enough to fund his own masterwork, the equally horrible "Hideous Sun Demon." Later Clarke stooped to new lows by conspiring with Grade Z film legend Jerry Warren to foist the unbelievable "Frankenstein Island" on an unsuspecting world with the help of superstar John Carradine. (If you haven't seen "Frankenstein Island" and you like bad movies, go order it now!)
"The Astounding She-Monster" is an astounding tale of a stripper in a skin tight Lycra outfit with Mr. Spock eyebrows and a deadly touch. The film also contains subplots about geology (Typical line of dialogue: "I just never realized that a geologist used so many kinds of acid in his work." In other words: yawn.), and kidnapping, which are used to ensure that all the action takes place on one set out of concern for the budget.
This movie has all the horrible black and white devices of convenience used: silly stock footage of animals, inappropriately used; very cheesy special effects (The She-Creatures spaceship is represented by a lit match. Really.); the depiction of her 'radium covering' by merely not focusing the camera; 'day for night' effects far worse than any ever used by Ed Wood (yes, even in "Plan 9"); and perhaps most annoyingly, narration provided by a voice who can't stylistically decide if he wants to sound more like Rod Serling or Criswell. Not to be confused with stock footage, they actually shot film of a bear. When the bear became unavailable for some shots they dressed costar Kenne Duncan in a bear suit to finish out the required footage. This is genius on the level of Ed Wood! I also particularly liked the music, which is of the 'all trumpet fanfare' variety, performed by the Stuttgart (Germany) Symphony Orchestra!
Forget the plot, it's a standard atomic cautionary tale from space done in thousands of other films, but be prepared to laugh at the incredibly inept package as it comes together in a 62 minute extravaganza of hilarity and non-scariness. I deducted a couple of points for the tedium of the wandering around in the woods scenes, which are interminable. Still, all told, it's a fun slice of yesteryear. The only special feature is the original trailer, though the DVD does have excellent liner notes by Tom Weaver, the noted sci-fi historian.
Anything Goes Trivia
Trevor
Megaton Man
