A brand new edition of the bestselling guide to raising teenagersWhen Anthony E. Wolf's witty and compassionate guide to raising adolescents was first published, its amusing title and fresh approach won it widespread admiration. Beleaguered parents breathed sighs of relief and gratitude. Now Dr. Wolf has revised and updated his bestseller to tackle the changes of the past decade. He points out that while the basic issues of adolescence and the relationships between parents and their children remain much the same, today's teenagers navigate a faster, less clearly anchored world. Wolf's revisions include a new chapter on the Internet, a significantly modified section on drugs and drinking, and an added piece on gay teenagers. Although the rocky and ever-changing terrain of contemporary adolescence may bewilder parents, Get Out of My Life gives them a great road map.
Amazon.com: This is a survival guide for parents who find themselves marooned among volatile and incomprehensible aliens on Planet Teen. Area maps cover the obvious ground--there are chapters on school, sex, suicide, and so on--but it's the title of Chapter 2, "What They Do and Why," that best captures the book's spirit and technique. Anthony Wolf's modus operandi is not so much to make pronouncements about what parents should do, as to explain adolescent behavior in a way that's bound to leave parents with a changed view of the plausible options. Wolf is a clinical psychologist, and his writing is clear--even witty--and he doesn't resort to jargon. The expository text is punctuated with snatches of illustrative dialogue, which serve as concrete examples and help parents learn how to see, anticipate, and avoid "bad strategies." (One key mistake is getting dragged into no-win conflicts instead of having the wisdom to shut up at the moment when shutting up would be most effective--albeit the least satisfying--thing to do.) There are also some nicely tongue-in-cheek samples of "ideal" communication--the stuff we imagine might get said if only we were better parents. After one such rosily cooperative and considerate interchange between a father and his adolescent son, Wolf offers the following two-edged comfort: "The above conversation has never happened. Never. Not in the whole history of the world." Message: Parenting adolescents is inherently difficult. Don't judge your efforts by otherworldly standards. --Richard Farr
how to really talk to your teens wolf uses many examples of actual conversations between parent and teen and then re-writes these conversations as to how they should have played out. very helpful and insightful. easy for me to apply to my own negative outcomes with my teens.
Right on target! I found this book to be of great value in improving communication with my 9th grade daughter. I wish I had read it sooner!
Where are the consequences? After several recommendations by friends with teens, I've almost finished this book after a couple of days of reading. Helpful points include the reminders to not engage in pointless arguments and to state my position clearly and concisely and not to lecture. My problem with the book is the lack of any apparent consequences for bad behavior. Teen comes in an hour past curfew? Re-state the appropriate curfew time and move on. Teen lies about grades on homework? Overlook the lie and re-state expectations about homework. Teen calls parent a f-ing b*tch? Ignore the name calling and remain silent. While I agree it creates ongoing conflict to call kids out on these behaviors and punish them, I think that is a necessary part of the landscape and to think otherwise is unrealistically permissive.
Get Out of My Life, but First Could You Drive Me & Cheryl to the Mall: A Parent's Guide to the New Teenager, Revised and Updated After having yet another argument with my 12-year old on why she needed to do her chores and homework instead of playing on the computer she threw at me the old "I hate living here and wish I could live with Dad!" So I went onto Amazon.com in search of a book that would solve the mysteries of why my lovable little girl was turning into a monster before my eyes. I ordered "Get Out of My Life, but First Could You Drive Me & Cheryl to the Mall: A Parent's Guide to the New Teenager, Revised and Updated" and couldn't put it down. If reinforced many of the parental decisions and rules I have already made and gave me insight and ideas on how to deal with other situations. Most of all, I feel it somewhat prepared me for "what is to come." I also loved that the book explained the differences between how adolescence affects boys and girls. I have 2 stepsons, 12-year old twins and did not realize the differences in how they do and will react to things compared to my daughter. After finishing the book, I handed it off to my husband and told him he needed to read it too!
Good advise and insight. The CD's were easy to listen to and make alot of sense. I look forward to the time when my children outgrow this stage, but the insights given by the author and practical ways of communicating with teenage daughters has been helpful in cutting back on the stress in our home.
Anything Goes Trivia
Megaton Man
Tony's Online Tips
Trevor
