World Famous Comics: Why Can't You Shut Up?: How We Ruin Relationships--How Not To
Why Can't You Shut Up?: How We Ruin Relationships--How Not To
By: Anthony Wolf Publisher: Ballantine Books Average Rating: Binding: Hardcover Label: Ballantine Books Number of Items: 1 Number of Pages: 192 Publication Date: March 07, 2006 Release Date: March 07, 2006
Product Description: “You forgot to buy milk!” “You never said anything about milk.” “Yes, I definitely did. You never listen.” “I do too listen. You never said milk.” “No, I did say milk. You just don’t listen.”
We’ve all been in situations like this one–when a loved one unintentionally provokes a confrontation. What do we do? We stand our ground, push our point, and underscore our reasons. We do it because we know we’re right. What is it, deep inside our being, that refuses to budge, to give in, or to shut up before we’re embroiled in a fight we don’t want? Meet your baby self. According to Dr. Anthony Wolf, this childish personality comes out at home, at work, and in social settings–with spouses, significant others, colleagues, and even friends. The baby self doesn’t know when to back down, it doesn’t compromise, and it can lead you to make rash and, usually, wrong decisions.
In this humorous, helpful, and eye-opening guide, you’ll learn how to deal with your baby self when it wreaks havoc on your life. Dr. Wolf provides alternate ways of responding to others when your baby self is ready to scream: It’s not fair! It’s not my fault! You are wrong! He offers ways to avoid the traps that sabotage all relationships, helps us recognize the false reasons we trick ourselves into thinking we are right, and teaches us how to let our mature side do the talking. With scores of examples of how innocent day-to-day conversations can erupt into conflagrations, Dr. Wolf shows you how to disengage fast and easily. The result? Peace, positive dialogue, and happier relationships all around–even if deep down you knowyou are right!
I wish I could have read this 20 years ago! If this book had been available 20 years ago, I could have saved myself a heap of heartache by following the simple, logical, rational and easily doable action of SHUTTING UP!
I totally love the straight-forward way Dr. Wolf makes it easy to be a grown up.
great little book Ok, your wondering why your spouse-significant other doesn't understand you, or why he/she seems to always say or do the wrong thing, or maybe you even have advanced enoungh to recognize that maybe, just maybe, YOU could have a problem understanding or doing the right thing when it comes to your relationship. And maybe you want to improve your communication/actions. Then this book is for you. It isn't rocket science language even though written by a psychologist. It's easy to read and full of "aha!!" moments. Well worth the price of the book. Good luck!
You are so busted This was very enlightening. Some of the patterns and behaviors of the "baby self" are very subtle. Wolf explains them logically with clear, often very funny, examples. You'll recognize many people you know, including (ouch!) yourself. No matter how justified you might believe your behavior to be, Wolf has got your number. He provides helpful suggestions for addressing the situations that trigger the baby self.