Three weeks ago, the Tony Polls general election for the President of the United States ended in a tie, necessitating a runoff election. The winner of that runoff election was DC Comics Party candidate Barbara Gordon, receiving 55.66% of the vote to Marvel candidate Joe Robertson's 44.34%.
Both candidates campaigned vigorously and there were surprises all the way. All Others Party candidate Clark Savage, Jr. pledged his support to Gordon, forming a 527 group and personally financing a series of vicious attack ads portraying Robertson as having ties to Spider-Man and other unregistered superhumans. These ads ran so frequently in every major market that, just before his mysterious disappearance, pundit Stephen Colbert quipped that it was "like the guy had a secret Mayan goldmine somewhere...which would explain Dr. Savage's robust tan." It is believed the President Elect will soon announce Savage's appointment to head the newly-created Department of Homeland Security/Security Surgery.
As a Robertson supporter, I'm disappointed my candidate didn't win. Gordon was lucky to be a woman and a handicapped person and a computer super-wizard who, had she so chosen, could've rigged the election. Not that I would ever suggest such a thing. No, I'm quite ready to move beyond the rancor of this campaign and instead focus on the new position I've recently accepted.
Thanks to a program sponsored by the Hidalgo Trading Company, I'll be the "writer in residence" at a peaceful little college in upstate New York. I feel less stressed already.
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ASTRO CITY: BEAUTIE
To put it simply, because I can't shake the description that popped into my mind the nanosecond I finished reading it, Astro City: Beautie #1 [WildStorm; $3.99] is a beautiful comic book. Written by Kurt Busiek and drawn by Brent Anderson, this "character special" stars Beautie, an amazing android based on a popular doll who, though she does not know how she came to be, uses her powers to help mankind as a member of the Honor Guard.
Beautie struggles to make humans feel comfortable around her, but she doesn't always succeed. As one of her teammates says, "she gets distant every now and then, but she always snaps out of it." It's dialogue that doesn't command any particular attention at the time...until it falls into place as part of the more complex picture. Damn that Busiek for making it look so easy.
I am determined to dance around what actually happens in this story on account of I don't want to ruin a moment of it for any of you. There are absolutely brilliant moments, such as learning who Beautie's closest civilian friends are and why they're so accepting of the android. There are funny moments, such as Beautie's cut-to-the-point response to an admirer in a bar. There are sad moments and uplifting moments. There is, when all is said and done, a hope for the future. Just one beautiful comic book.
Anderson's art is dynamic and emotional and real. Alex Ross' cover is eye-catching. Colorist Alex Sinclair and letterer John Roshell of Comicraft are impressive. Even the letters column is a step above most comic-book letter columns.
Astro City is the gold standard of super-hero comics. Astro City: Beautie #1 is wonderful even by that standard. It earns the full five out of five Tonys.
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BETTY AND VERONICA DOUBLE DIGEST
Betty and Veronica Double Digest #157 [Archie Comics; $3.69] is another stuffed-to-the-covers package of fun. The issue is the usual mix of a few new stories with hundreds of pages of reprints. This time, there were two above-average new stories: "The Tour" by George Gladir with artists Dan Parent and Jim Amash, and "You Ain't Got No Elegance" by Kathleen Webb with artists Dan Parent and Rich Koslowski. In Gladir's tale, Betty and Veronica set out to visit prospective colleges. In Webb's, the Riverdale gang is consumed with curiosity over the identity of Ronnie's mystery date. Neither story is boisterously funny, but both are solidly entertaining and have satisfying endings.
The big laughs come from the reprints. Veronica reads a book on heightened awareness with comical results. Betty must "babysit" Ronnie's virtual boyfriend, the prototype of a new toy. Josie and her pals face "Terror in the Park!" Skiing and snowball fights are key to several other stories, including a terrific Betty, Veronica, and Sabrina team-up.
"Family Friends," another of the reprints, offers a look at an aspect of Veronica's relationship with her father that usually goes unnoticed amidst all the "vain rich girl" gags that have served her and her writers so well. However, one of the reasons Ronnie's such a great character is that she's more than a one-joke wonder, and I do enjoy seeing her playing against type.
These Archie double digests always deliver solid bang for your bucks. This one earns three out of five Tonys.
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MARVEL ADVENTURES HULK
The Marvel Adventures titles are notable for presenting suitable-for-all-ages super-hero action featuring some of the best characters of the Marvel Universe. I've given favorable reviews to most of the line, but I'm saddened to say Marvel Adventures Hulk Vol. 1: Misunderstood Monster [$6.99], which collects the first four issues of the title, just didn't click with me.
I won't for a minute tell you these stories are awful. Writer Paul Benjamin's scripts are adequate and I like what artist David Nakayama does with them. But there's nothing clever or fresh about the comics. The origin of the Hulk is pretty much by the numbers. A story with Madrox the Multiple Man has a few interesting moments, but a subsequent two-issue appearance of the Radioactive Man is as about as standard a Hulk tale as there is. And, man, do I hate the monkey sidekick. Have we learned nothing from the annoying parade of "cute" pets clumsily grafted on to Saturday morning adaptations of favorite comics characters?
Marvel Adventures Hulk needs something to bring it up to the level of the other MA titles. Until then, the best score I can give this collection is a disappointing two out of five Tonys.
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BLOGGY BITS
It's entirely my fault that there was no new column yesterday, but you'll have to wait for tomorrow's TOT to find out why. Don't get excited. It doesn't involve Final Crisis or Secret Invasion or four-thousand-dollars-a-romp call girls. It's just slice-of-my-life stuff.
I'll try to jazz it up with cool cartoons, classic comic-book covers, or interesting photos.
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MAGAZINE WATCH
I have both good news and bad news from the March 21 issue of Entertainment Weekly. The good news is that, according to "The Charts" in the mag's books section, the best-selling graphic novel at San Francisco's Comix Experience is The Savage Sword of Conan #2, which reprints stories from the 1970s black-and-white title. The bad news is that, according to "The Charts," the writer of those classic tales is Ray Thomas. My friend and mentor was one of the most influential writers and editors of that era and they can't get his name right? Crom, that's annoying!
The other nine spots on this list were filled by:
Hellblazer: Joyride, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: Black Dossier,
The Frat Party,
Ultimate Spider-Man #19: Death of a Goblin,
The Sandman #7: Brief Lives,
Showcase Presents the Superman Family #2,
Golgo 13 #13,
Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season 8 #1: The Long Way Home, and, Scott Pilgrim #4: Scott Pilgrim Gets It Together.
The store's top ten comics were:
All-Star Batman and Robin, the Boy Wonder #9,
Batman #674,
Captain America #35,
Criminal 2 #1,
Justice Society of America #13,
Kick-Ass #1,
Daredevil #108,
Thor #6,
X-Men: Legacy #208, and, Rasl #1.
If I renew my Entertainment Weekly subscription - I'm on the fence - would you like me to bring you these lists on a regular basis? Let me know via my message board or via e-mail sent to:
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TONY POLLS
The finalists have been announced in the 26th annual Comics Buyer's Guide Fan Awards and, once again, I want to see how our Tony Polls voters compare with CBG voters. Last week, you voted on the first six categories. This week, we're asking you to vote on the remaining six categories:
Favorite Comic Book Cover Artist
Favorite Comic Book Story
Favorite Comic Book Series or Mini-Series
Favorite Original Graphic Novel
Favorite Comic Book Character
Favorite Comic Book Publisher
Look for the results of last week's voting and my usual cogent comments on same on Friday.
Tony's Online Tips is a reader-sponsored feature, made possible through your "Tip The Tipster" donations. Today's column was brought to you by David and Roger...and I thank them for their generous support. If you'd like to contribute, just click on the "Tip The Tipster" link elsewhere on this page.
Thanks for spending a part of your day with me. I'll be back tomorrow with more stuff.
I review The Amazing Adventures of Nate Banks #1: Secret Identity Crisis, Secret Identity Crisis: Comic Books and the Unmasking of Cold War America and The Walking Dead Volume 2: Miles Behind Us.
ZERO: Burn your money before buying any comic receiving this rating. It doesn't *necessarily* mean there's absolutely nothing of value here - though it *could* - but whatever value it might possess shrinks into insignificance before its overall awfulness.
ONE: Buy something else. Maybe I found something which wasn't completely dreadful in the item, but not enough for me to recommend it when there are better comics available. I only want what's best for you, my children.
TWO: Basic judgment call. I found some value, but not enough to recommend it. My review should give you enough info to decide if you want to take a chance on it. Are you feeling lucky today, punk? Well, are you?
THREE: This denotes something I find perfectly respectable. There are better books out there, but I wouldn't regret buying this item. Based on my review, you should be able to determine if it's of interest to you. Let the Force guide you.
FOUR: I recommend anything earning this rating. Unless you don't like the genre, subject matter, or past work of the creators, I believe you'll enjoy this item. Isn't it uncanny how I can look right into your soul that way?
FIVE: Anything getting this rating is among the best comicdom has to offer. You should buy/read this, even if the genre/subject matter doesn't appeal to you. It's for your own good. Me, I live for comics and books this good...but not in a pathetic "Comic-Book Guy" sort of way.
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