Product Description: Stop Walking on Eggshells: Coping When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder is a self-help guide that helps the family members and friends of individuals with borderline personality disorder (BPD) understand this self-destructive disorder and learn what they can do to cope with it and take care of themselves. It is designed to help them understand how the disorder affects their loved ones and recognize what they can do to get off the emotional roller coasters and take care of themselves.
I got the last laugh... In her office, my therapist has two books that she doesn't keep on her big shelf of books. She has them sitting right out on the end table. This one and Tao Cycle Therapy, by Sarah Shikitao-Brown. Tao Cycle Therapy: Natural Happiness via Self Directed Cure for Chronic Anxiety & Depression [Updated 2008 3nd Edition] Her reasoning she says is that, "if every one of my clients read and used these two books, it could easily put me out of business, and I keep them front and center to remind myself of that fact every day." It makes me laugh, because when I then pointed out that maybe she shouldn't be leaving them out for clients to see, she gave me this creepy smile and replied, "come on, do you really think any therapist needs to worry about their clients actually taking their advice?". I've never forgotten that and it makes me laugh because I did take her advice and read both books. And I still read them both a lot even now. I stopped going to therapy about three weeks later. I love that story, but the point is, these two books are exceptional. Samantha Tobin
Excellent Reference Book This is one of my favorite books. I'm very familiar/educated on a lot of this emotional stuff and I've never thrown around 5stars haphazardly. This book is full of really good useful knowledge. However, that doesn't mean that every single page or every single line will apply to your particular situation. I think that often people expect a book to be written directly for them personally. That's not likely to happen. This book is excellent. It's an excellent reference for this disorder. I'm also going to recommend Tao Cycle Therapy, by Sarah Shikitao-Brown. Her book is a good companion to this one and an excellent method for the emotional management of this and other disorders. Tao Cycle Therapy: Natural Happiness via Self Directed Cure for Chronic Anxiety & Depression [Updated 2008 3nd Edition]
- Jane Stevens
Professional, well presented and researched material: how-to for more that just BPD Don't struggle: read this book. It provides a plethora of tips and example that fit well with the character of a BPD, but that applies to many other behaviors. You will discover that you are not crazy and it will help you in the journey to a better relationship in a caring way.
These authors OBVIOUSLY do NOT live with anybody who has BPD I would give this book five stars for research alone, but all of these books regarding Borderline Personality Disorder seem to be inter-plagiarized amongst themselves with the same research and facts and only a smattering of examples of adults who still suffer the consequences of growing up with a Borderline parent.It is both laughable AND nauseating to read how we should be "calm" while in the throes of being pummeled, beaten, slammed against walls, having our hair torn out, being shoved onto the floor and the relentless SCREAMING. I TRULY would like to see any of the authors of these books act in a "calm" fashion while being repeatedly smashed to bits on a daily basis. I am sorry to find out, 41 years too late, that my mother suffers from BPD; it took 41 years for me to become friends with a young woman who diagnosed my mother. After that, I frantically purchased this book and two others and the "coping" suggestions are completely ridiculous. The only thing/s the authors get correctly is that we are guilted into never leaving these horrible parents. In MY case, my mother has repeatedly threatened to kill me, jeopardized relationships with boyfriends, bosses and landlords, and screamed at me until I felt certain I would go deaf. Yes, I have remained calm, but having my head slammed repeatedly against walls, banisters and doors, as well as my integrity, emotions, feelings and reputation being equally pummeled by a nonstop barrage of insults, accusations and commentary has made me an extremely unhappy woman, and a very damaged one at that. I cannot even sleep due to my mother's abrupt appearances either at my home or place of work, if I hang up on her when she is insulting or screaming at me on the phone, she rages a personal vendetta about me to anybody who knows me and worst of all, is that when I was younger, I reported her insane behavior to my neighbors, doctors, school nurses, school chums, teachers and even the police and NOBODY DID A THING. 30 someodd years ago, there WERE no Social Service agencies in place to remove me from her dangerous dungeon and worst of all, if I had the audacity to complain about her relentless abuse, these people would question my mom, if they did anything, and this would make her so enraged, the beatings and screaming would escalate. My older brother only was her target for a few years and all he simply was doing was defending himself verbally. She kicked him out of the house at age 19 and ironically, as she has refused to work for 15 years now, I tried to help her by paying all her bills, ruining my credit twice, filing bankruptcy and never being paid back the nearly $50,000.00 I kept outlaying for all her ridiculous bills and debts. Whenever I complained, and justifiably so, that I had my own bills to pay, she bashed me so hard and screamed so loudly I truly prayed every single night I would go deaf, or simply die already. Yes, I also rented five apartments in my name after we were homeless and living in motels together, she refused to live in any of them; I even bought a house which she demanded I buy and refused to live there, so I immediately put it back on the market until it sold, I lost thousands of more dollars DUE TO buying that house, gave her back the profits when it sold, because of her repeated violence and threats to kill me (she'd given me money as a downpayment and never even told me she HAD any money and when I'd complained that she should have paid me back, I got bashed to bits), and her latest accusation is that I KEPT MONEY from the house when it sold, when it was absolutely not true. It is true that people with BPD come up with bizarre accusations, but what is most troubling of all is that these three books I have purchased TRULY did NOT touch base upon the fact that the violence is instant and savage and relentless in nature. They say violence "can occur", well, I have never seen anything the likes of what this horrid woman pulled on me my entire life and thank God I no longer live with her, but she still makes repeated threats against my pets, job, relationship with my boyfriend and I never know what this insane woman is going to pull next. She always is well-behaved around my brother, so I don't see how this can be a disorder when she can control her vicious rages, screaming and violence while in the presence of my brother, but the moment she sees me, she goes off on her un-ending screaming, insults, accusations and that painful hitting. I finally hit her back once, when I turned 30 and she practically murdered me from simply trying to defend myself. Yes, I have written letters to her doctors and positively all of them must be quacks, because NOBODY finds anything wrong with her. I have had horrendous Jewish guilt trips laid on me my entire life to keep taking this vicious woman's crap, abuse, insults, screaming, punching, hitting and hair pulling and she is crafty and manipulative enough to lie about me to everybody who knows me, thus these people question me relentlessly about how I can let my mother "suffer". This woman has her Social Security to live on, yet after supplying some 300 links to rentals from CraigsList, refuses to rent a place; instead, she either flies back and forth to my brother's home, or else she stays in motels for months at a time. She complains positively 24 hours per day and never has a kind word to say to me. So I say to the authors of these three books, you couldn't BEGIN TO KNOW what it is like to live with somebody who hates you so ferociously and thinks nothing of breaking your hands, giving you fat and bloody lips, black eyes, who tears out your hair, and slams you against walls, kicking, punching and screaming at you. Your suggestions are beyond ludicrous. You couldn't possibly have been put in the position of trying to placate these insane people, who REFUSE TO SEEK HELP!
Stop Walking on Eggshells - Taking your life back I haven't finished the book yet but so far the information I have read has proved very useful.
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