World Famous Comics: How To Keep People From Pushing Your Buttons
How To Keep People From Pushing Your Buttons
By: Albert Ellis, Arthur Lange Publisher: Citadel Average Rating: Binding: Paperback Label: Citadel Number of Items: 1 Number of Pages: 220 Publication Date: April 01, 2003 Release Date: January 01, 1995
Product Description: The founder of the Institute for Rational Emotive Therapy and the author of two professional therapy books join forces to show readers how to control their reactions to difficult people, through easy-to-follow cognitive behavior therapy exercises.
You've Got To Be Kidding Me... This author's idea of a book is to basically cite some piddly examples that not everyone will understand or be able to relate to, then tell you the solution to your problem (irritability at people) is to think different. Ok, how different? He tells you that you are supposed to stop "shoulding" on people, and to stop making everything bigger than it actually is. Like, you won't die if you don't get invited somewhere, or if your husband stops loving you you won't like it but it's not the end of the world. Right. And he tells you that you are supposed to think this way and people won't be able to push your buttons. He doesn't tell you HOW to think this way, HOW to change how you TRULY feel about the situation. Sure, I can think of those things, but I won't believe them. And if you don't believe you won't be hurt if your husband stops loving you and that you will be embarrassed over something stupid you did and people think badly of you for, until you get rid of those thoughts period, this book won't work. And there is just no way I can lie to myself and pretend that I don't care about these things. Sure, I can think it, but I won't believe it, and there are just some things the author asks you to believe in and live by that are just plain unreasonable. Honestly, what kind of an unfeeling clout does this guy want people to be? Running around NOT CARING if someone wants to divorce you, not caring if no one loves you, not caring that other people think you are worthless. Sure, I can believe it, but then I'd have even more problems, and be a totally numb, unfeeling person. Not what I call success. This book sucks. I haven't found a book that will help me yet, but this book sure isn't it. Oh wait, I am not supposed to be disappointed in this book cuz that is a unreasonable feeling... my bad.
Very informative and helprul book I have borrowed this book from the library and was so impressed by the ideas that I decided I need my own copy for reference. I found it very helpful and applicable to the most difficult situations in my life. I feel much calmer after reading it and using techniques it offers.
Goodbye To Anxiety
Albert Ellis is the famous originator of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy. This new approach to psychology aims to educate the client to: (1) analyze their emotional thoughts, (2) challenge these troublesome beliefs, and, (3) replace them with more rational ideas. This approach works well with lesser psychological conditions such as anxiety, anger, depression and neuroticism.
This book is aimed specifically at fear/anxiety/worry. It has plenty of exercises you can work through to help you learn the approach. Ellis teaches that there are three ways that worriers thinking can go wrong: catastrophic thinking, absolutist thinking and rationalization. Next we learn about the "ten nutty beliefs that we use to let people and situations needlessly push our buttons."
While I found this book interesting I began to rebel when I found that I had to learn ten false beliefs that can send me astray. To be fair Ellis does say that only the first four are the most common, but the whole thing had started to feel a bit like preparing to sit an exam. I felt that these ten specific beliefs could have been the subject of a separate book.
Another possible criticism is that this book contains absolutely no reference to experiments to demonstrate that this approach works. If you are the type of person that needs evidence to prove an idea to you this may not be the book for you.
Simple, practical, useful, effective The premise of this book is that events or people don't make up you angry or upset, it's what you think about them that does. WIth this in mind, Ellis and Lange lay out a simple approach that you can use to keep on a more even keel. The essence is that you can challenge your own thinking, which often has at its root some sort of irrational belief in the way things should be. Then replace those beliefs with more rational ones. It is a non-manipulative, ethical approach. You can practice this technique on "small" problems and gain confidence that you will handle larger problems better.
self help through stories This book is a self help book that helps the reader by going through various scenarios and cognitive therapy. It gives you the right way of doing things and the wrong way (it's very black and white). Check it out sometime.
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