World Famous Comics: Real Boys : Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood
Real Boys : Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood
By: William Pollack Publisher: Owl Books Average Rating: Binding: Paperback Label: Owl Books Number of Items: 1 Number of Pages: 476 Publication Date: 1999-04
Product Description: Featuring a new preface by the author on how parents can make a difference.
With author appearances on Good Morning America, The Today Show, 20 /20 and NPR's Fresh Air, and featuring articles in Newsweek, Time, and The New York Times, Real Boys is one of the most talked-about and influential books published this year.
Based on William Pollack's groundbreaking research at Harvard Medical School over two decades, Real Boys explores why many boys are sad, lonely, and confused although they may appear tough, cheerful, and confident. Pollack challenges conventional expectations about manhood and masculinity that encourage parents to treat boys as little men, raising them through a toughening process that drives their true emotions underground. Only when we understand what boys are really like, says Pollack, can we help them develop more self-confidence and the emotional savvy they need to deal with issues such as depression, love and sexuality, drugs and alcohol, divorce, and violence.
Amazon.com Review: Listening to the author William Pollack read Real Boys, it doesn't take long to find out that being a boy these days isn't all fun and games. As codirector of the Center for Men at McLean Hospital/Harvard Medical Center, Pollack has seen behind the stoic masks of troubled, modern boys as they struggle to cope with the mixed messages, conflicting expectations, and increasingly complex demands they receive from our evolving society. "New research shows that boys are faring less well ... that many boys have remarkably fragile self-esteem, and that the rates of both depression and suicide in boys are frighteningly on the rise."
What are parents to do? They could start by listening to the author's thoughts on contemporary child-rearing techniques, analysis of the root causes of many male behavior problems, and recommendations for avoiding all-too-common pitfalls. In Real Boys, Pollack draws upon nearly two decades of research to support his theories and makes an impressive assault on the popular myths surrounding the conventional definition of masculinity.
While listening to Real Boys, it is important to remember that Pollack is a psychologist, not a professional narrator. His enunciation is less than perfect and his reading sometimes strikes a clinical tone, but his intelligent writing and the obvious concern he holds for this important subject help carry a passionate message and compensate for any vocal shortcomings. (Running time: three hours, two cassettes) --George Laney
Real Boys : Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood I needed this book 20 years ago for my oldest son whom may be lost to me forever. William
Very informative book Really made me think about the differences in boys and girls. Very informative. Bought one to be passed around among my teacher friends.
Not Just About Boys As the sister of six brothers and the mother of two boys, I found myself agreeing with the author on many fronts.
What the author calls "The Boy Code" is what Steven Covey would probably call using efficiency rather than effectiveness as a goal in raising males. The problem is that efficiency leaves the boy with a limited arsenal when it comes to understanding and taking responsibility for his own emotional life. It certainly leaves the boy with limited resources when it comes to understanding or helping others who are wrestling with problems in their own inner life. The lie of "The Boy Code" is that recognizing one's own "negative" emotions is a self-indulgence that simply makes a person weak, a weakness that is permissible in famales, but not in males. Nothing could be further from the truth.
We don't do our boys any favors by teaching them to ignore their own emotions. We also do them a disservice if we let the expectations learned from females dictate what kind of emotional life we expect of males. I know men who live by what this book is espousing. They aren't "wimps", as some reviewers have implied that boys raised in this way will be. They are adults who understand their own emotions well enough to not be unknowingly ruled by them. They know when they are angry, they can admit when they feel fear, and they know how to choose to act under those circumstances, rather than simply reacting, which is what people who refuse to acknowledge their own inner life tend to do. They are certainly not men who expect themselves to experience emotion in the same way as their wives or other women in their lives do, nor do they feel some authority to dictate emotional taboos to other men. They process their emotions in their own ways, they let others do the same, and they don't apologize for it.
I wouldn't, however, limit the observations in this book to boys. There are women and girls who, for whatever reason, have learned to live by what the author calls "The Boy Code." There are men who don't process their emotions as this book implies that men raised in earlier decades will. For that reason, I would caution that the reader not presume after reading this book that he or she now "understands men." The book gives tools for understanding others and helping them to understand themselves, and points out some ineffective but "efficient" ways that people often use in dealing with strong emotion. Knowing these common human patterns isn't a substitute for paying attention to the actions and emotional style of the person you're actually dealing with.
The reviewers who complain that the book takes a great many pages to repeat the same story over and over have a point. A reader who does not want or need so many examples to get the author's point won't lose much by simply skimming the book after the first 100-200 pages or so.
Author wants boys to be "nurtured" to be wimps and sissies ! In a nutshell,(which is where this book belongs), the "author" wants boys to be wimps and sissies. The fact that a major New York publisher would print such nonsense pretty well proves that Communism is not dead, but like a snake has simply changed it's skin; AKA Social Marxism. Had William S. Pollack been around in 1776, his advise to Patrick Henry would no doubt have been to "let it all out" and cry about it, and counselling for the depression. The fact that you can buy this book for a mear penny pretty much says it all. Few people who have actually owned and read the book feel any need to keep it on their bookshelves. Mine is now going in the trash. As an antdote to this nonsense, I recomend "THE WAR AGAINST BOYS" by Christina Sommers, also sold bt Amazon.
this book is boring It took so much effort to get through this book, and I'm not even sure why I read the whole thing--I must have been really bored. If you want to read a book full of stories about wealthy teenage boys who can't decide which ivy league school to attend written by a man who clearly thinks academic achievement is the single most important thing in life, this is the book for you. And most of the stories sound fictional; maybe that's just because Pollack isn't a talented writer.
I gained nothing from this book and I want my money back.
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Megaton Man
Trevor
