Product Description: From Roger's review of Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo (0 stars): "The movie created a spot of controversy in February 2005. According to a story by Larry Carroll of MTV News, Rob Schneider took offense when Patrick Goldstein of the Los Angeles Times listed this year's Best Picture nominees and wrote that they were 'ignored, unloved, and turned down flat by most of the same studios that . . . bankroll hundreds of sequels, including a follow-up to Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo, a film that was sadly overlooked at Oscar time because apparently nobody had the foresight to invent a category for Best Running Penis Joke Delivered by a Third-Rate Comic.'
"Schneider retaliated by attacking Goldstein in full-page ads in Daily Variety and the Hollywood Reporter. In an open letter to Goldstein, Schneider wrote: 'Well, Mr. Goldstein, I decided to do some research to find out what awards you have won. I went online and found that you have won nothing. Absolutely nothing. No journalistic awards of any kind. . . . Maybe you didn't win a Pulitzer Prize because they haven't invented a category for Best Third-Rate, Unfunny Pompous Reporter Who's Never Been Acknowledged by His Peers. . . .'
"Schneider was nominated for a 2000 Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor, but lost to Jar-Jar Binks. But Schneider is correct, and Patrick Goldstein has not yet won a Pulitzer Prize. Therefore, Goldstein is not qualified to complain that Columbia financed Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo while passing on the opportunity to participate in Million Dollar Baby, Ray, The Aviator, Sideways, and Finding Neverland. As chance would have it, I have won the Pulitzer Prize, and so I am qualified. Speaking in my official capacity as a Pulitzer Prize winner, Mr. Schneider, your movie sucks."
Another Great Book of Bad Reviews They always say you learn more from your mistakes than your successes.
Roger Ebert's books of his bad reviews are solid arguments for that proverb. I'm not sure that Roger's reviews made the terrible movies he reviewed worth seeing--some of them are irretrievably wretched and horrible--but at least his take on them offer more insight and knowledge than anything seen on the screen.
In the first book, I HATED HATED HATED HATED THIS MOVIE, he collects some seriously funny reviews of terrible movies. At a Comedy Central Roast of Rob Reiner, comedian Richard Belzer even read Roger's review of Reiner's incredible stinkbomb, "North." In fact, "North" is the movie that provided the book its title.
In his latest edition, YOUR MOVIE SUCKS, Roger begins with his funny war of words with the prolifically unfunny Rob Schneider as well as "The Brown Bunny" saga.
The rest of the reviews are listed alphabetically and they run all across the board from obscure foreign films to dismal teen comedies to high profile garbage like "Pearl Harbor."
But what makes these reviews worth reading is: Roger Ebert knows movies. He's lived, breathed, studied and reviewed movies for more years than you've probably been alive. His knowledge is instructive and his personal asides and anecdotes are always entertaining. (Check out his website as well).
If you love movies and want to hear someone who really knows movies, this is your guy.
This Book Sucks Your Movie Sucks sucks. What is the point of releasing a book of movie reviews of bad movies? Read my last sentence. After sitting down to read this book, I was thoroughly bored within ten minutes. I would begin one review, hardly able to finish the tasteless, bland attempt at humor, only to move on to the next review and find myself in the same position. I began to notice that all of them were virtually the same! I soon began comparing some with others and found that Ebert, who has never been an original, had a basic formula, and he merely filled in the blanks with titles and actors and directors. What a piece of tripe! Don't buy this book, rent the bad movies and find out for yourself. However, I will agree the movies in the book, for the most part, at least those I've actually seen, are pretty bad. So, what is the point? Money! Ebert is a money loving SOB, and he wants your money more than you do.
Your Book Sucks Really.... Who does he think he is? An old fart egomaniac can be right... sometimes.
Nobody Does It Better, Roger! Your Book ROCKS! Roger: Your Book ROCKS! This book is for anyone who loves movies--bad movies included. It provides a hilarious, razor-sharp look at some of the movies that make you just shake your head and wonder "how did that clunker get made?" If you're new to the planet and haven't read a movie review by Mr. Ebert, then let me fill you in. Nobody does it better. I became hooked on Roger years ago after reading his review of Lethal Weapon II (which he gave a good review to). After reading all the mainstream critics reviews and hearing how the movie lacked this and that, I finally saw a reviewer that felt an action picture deserved some praise and wasn't afraid to say it. From that moment forward, I was a fan. I knew that whether it was a serious drama, a low-brow comedy, a foreign film, Roger was going to tell it straight. He wasn't too artsy like the wonderful Gene Siskel could be. Or, somewhat superficial and a bit lazy in tone as Mr. Roeper can be. Or, completely random like many of the fill-in hosts on the tv review show can be. How we miss you on your television review show. More on that in a bit. The reviews in this book really say what people are thinking but often don't say out loud at a cocktail party because they might be singled out for being too opinionated. Big hint here. Read the back cover. Read the section on Rob Schneider a few times. IT'S HILARIOUS. Perhaps the funniest thing of all is how Mr. Schneider refers to himself as a "movie star" in his earnest reply to Roger. Rob Schneider is a gifted comic actor. But, he's no movie star. A movie star is George Clooney. Daniel Day Lewis. Adam Sandler. These are movie stars because they transcend generations. You can look back in time and hear the names Cary Grant. Marlon Brando. Charlie Chaplin. These were movie stars. The book is worth reading just for that anecdote and review alone.
Regarding the tv review show, we miss you dearly, Roger. We miss your wit. Your wisdom. Your uncanny intelligence. Your wonderful writing. We miss hearing you stand up for a film that nobody ever heard of in the mainstream press. Then, watching it and learning that it was a film that touches people's souls. We miss your no nonsense approach to the weird ways of Hollywood. Boy, do we miss your Oscar picks and pans. We miss your worst of Hollywood show. Hearing you berate a talented actor for not reaching his or her potential--not just trashing them because it's the trendy thing to do. Be honest. For all you fans of the TV show, have you noticed how "thin" the reviews have gotten. These guys barely look like they watched the film. I hear more intelligent conversation sometimes from the people who work out at the gym (not putting anyone down here). And, I wish he returns for that wonderful thumbs-up or thumbs down verdict. I read somewhere once that Roger trademarked that. So, he owns it. Disney, please pay Roger enough money, so you can return that signature to the show, please. It's call BRANDING for all the corporate folks in the suites who don't understand when a show is on for that long and has built that kind of fan base, they NOTICE when things change.
Here's hoping Roger's health improves. Saw a news item the other day saying he was going in for surgery again. Wish you well and a speedy recovery. You are sorely missed. We still read your columns on-line. We will buy your new book of reviews. And, keep reading the old ones as well. Curling up to re-re-read a review from an old edition to bust out laughing or nodding one's head in total agreement. Nobody is a better movie critic that Roger. Nobody does it better!
Entertaing and biting wit from Roger Ebert I enjoyed this work from Ebert as I find his scathing reviews are often his best writing and the reason he won his Pulitzer Prize. Here Mr. Ebert shares with us some of his more recent scathing reviews of some movies that were mostly forgettable. I found them enjoyable to read as Mr. Ebert uses some very creative deconstructive language to shred bad movies.
Still I can't give the book 5 stars because Mr. Ebert really does a poor job of putting this book into the perspective that he does in his outstanding great movies book. In those books he very effectively chooses great movies from a wide range of eras including those he wasn't in position to review. Wouldn't it be great if he found some classic bad movie and gave it a terrible review like he found great movies and gave them great reviews?
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