Product Description: John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage by using rigorous scientific procedures to observe the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over many years. Here is the culmination of his life's work: the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Packed with practical questionnaires and exercises, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.
Amazon.com: According to most relationship books, the key to a solid marriage is communication, communication, communication. Phooey, says John Gottman, Ph.D., author of the much-lauded Why Marriages Succeed or Fail. There's much more to a solid, "emotionally intelligent" marriage than sharing every feeling and thought, he points out--though most couples therapists ineffectively (and expensively) harp on these concepts.
Gottman, the director of the Gottman Institute, has found through studying hundreds of couples in his "love lab" that it only takes five minutes for him to predict--with 91 percent accuracy--which couples will eventually divorce. He shares the four not-so-obvious signs of a troubled relationship that he looks for, using sometimes amusing passages from his sessions with married couples. (One standout is Rory, the pediatrician who didn't know the name of the family dog because he spent so much time at work.)
Gottman debunks many myths about divorce (primary among them that affairs are at the root of most splits). He also reveals surprising facts about couples who stay together. They do engage in screaming matches. And they certainly don't resolve every problem. "Take Allan and Betty," he writes. "When Allan gets annoyed at Betty, he turns on ESPN. When Betty is upset with him, she heads for the mall. Then they regroup and go on as if nothing's happened. Never in forty-five years of marriage have they sat down to have a 'dialogue' about their relationship." While this may sound like a couple in trouble, Gottman found that they pass the love-lab tests and say honestly that "they are both very satisfied with their relationship and they love each other deeply."
Through a series of in-depth quizzes, checklists, and exercises, similar to the ones he uses in his workshops, Gottman provides the framework for coping with differences and strengthening your marriage. His profiles of troubled couples rescued from the brink of divorce (including that of Rory, the out-of-touch doctor) and those of still-happy couples who reinvigorate their relationships are equally enlightening. --Erica Jorgensen
Buy the book, not the Kindle version This is an excellent book full of interesting information and useful exercises. If you or your counseling clients want to make marriage work, this could really help. I bought the Kindle version, though, and now I have no access to the exercises.
I borrowed the book from the library and made some copies of the exercises. There are so many good ones, this turned out to be a lot of time and money spent that I wouldn't have if only I had bought the book in the first place.
So, my message here is buy this BOOK! Work the exercises with your partner. Pass it along to someone else, too. Buy something else to read on Kindle.
Something in This for all Couples I first read this book some time ago, and I've read it quit a few times since. At least in parts. The seven principals of making a marriage work can be applied to any relationship. I've certainly tried to apply them in my life, to some success. We all need these reminders at time to help us get our thoughts and priorities in a relationship back on track. Regularly leafing through this book helps me to do that. While I didn't agree with absolutely everything the book says, it is certainly full of invaluable advice for all couples, and should be read by everyone in a relationship.
I also recommend...
The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate
How To Keep Your Man: And Keep Him For Good
Awesome Book!! A definite "Must Get!" 2 Thumbs Up!! My Husband and I are reading this amazing book. It is enlightening, eye opening and it is a fabulous book for any relationship, not just marriage! A definite must get!
This is an excellent book on marriage. I was looking for some answers with my current situation, and I found more than what I hoped for here. It struck a great number of familiar chords with both of us, and has true to life examples than any couple will relate to. This is a definite "must buy" book for any married couple. Other excellent and unique book for relationships is I Love You. Now What?: Falling in Love is a Mystery, Keeping It Isn't
Good advice I think this is one of the best books that I have read on relationships in trouble. Principle 2 - Nurturing your fondness and admiration and Principle 6 - Overcoming Gridlock are worth the price of the book. The book contains a lot of tests and exercises most of which are very useful and insightful. The book assumes that both the husband and wife are trying to improve their marriage. It also works to some degree if only one person is working on the marriage. The author does come accross in the first couple of chapters as arrogant but he tones it down in the remaining chapters. It is only slightly distracting.
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