World Famous Comics: Dave Barry's Money Secrets: Like: Why Is There a Giant Eyeball on the Dollar?
Dave Barry's Money Secrets: Like: Why Is There a Giant Eyeball on the Dollar?
By: Dave Barry Publisher: Three Rivers Press Average Rating: Binding: Paperback Number of Items: 1 Number of Pages: 240 Publication Date: December 26, 2006 Release Date: December 26, 2006 Studio: Three Rivers Press
Product Description: Did you ever wish that you really understood money? Well, Dave Barry wishes that he did, too. But that hasn’t stopped him from writing this book. In it, Dave explores (as only he can) such topics as:
• How the U.S. economy works, including the often overlooked role of Adam Sandler • Why it is not a good idea to use squirrels for money • Strategies that will give you the confidence you need to try for a good job, even though you are—let’s be honest—a no-talent loser • How corporate executives, simply by walking into their offices, immediately become much stupider • An absolutely foolproof system for making money in the stock market, requiring only a little effort (and access to time travel) • Surefire tips for buying and selling real estate, the key being: Never buy—or, for that matter, sell—real estate • How to minimize your federal taxes, safely and legally, by cheating • Why good colleges cost so much, and how to make sure your child does not get into one • How to reduce the cost of your medical care by basically not getting any • Estate planning, especially the financial benefits of an early death • And many, many pictures of Suze Orman
But that’s only the beginning! Dave has also included in this book all of the important points from a book written by Donald Trump, so you don’t have to read it yourself. Plus he explains how to tip, how to negotiate for everything (including bridge tolls), how to argue with your spouse about money, and how much allowance to give your children (three dollars is plenty). He also presents, for the first time in print anywhere, the Car Dealership Code of Ethics (“Ethic Seven: The customer is an idiot”). Also, there are many gratuitous references to Angelina Jolie naked. You can’t afford not to buy this book! Probably you need several copies.
What kind of financial shape are you in right now? This scientific quiz will show you.
Be honest in your answers: If you lie, you’ll only be lying to yourself! The place to lie is on your federal tax return.
What is your annual income? 1. More than $50,000. 2. Less than $50,000. 3. However much I get when I return these empties.
Not counting your mortgage, how much money do you currently owe? 1. Less than $10,000. 2. More than $10,000. 3. Men are threatening to cut off my thumbs.
How would you describe your portfolio? 1. Conservative, mainly bonds and blue-chip equities. 2. Aggressive, mainly options and speculative stocks. 3. My what?
When analyzing an investment, what do you consider to be the most important factor? 1. The amount of return. 2. The degree of risk. 3. The name of the jockey.
How do you plan to finance your retirement? 1. Savings. 2. Social security. 3. Sale of kidneys.
Hilarious!! ^ I love this audio-book... both my boyfriend and I got it for our dads for Christmas and they love it too!
FUNNY! ^ I am listening to the audio version of this book on CD and enjoying a few laugh out loud experiences while still on the 1st CD. Barry seems to have many great points including the condition known as FIBS (Furniture Induced Brain Shortage) which appears to be caused by conference room furniture in large, and sometimes small, corporations. I seriously doubt that the set offers any new ideas of making money, spending money, or whatever but it is a refreshing break from worrying about money. I give this book (audio or printed) two thumbs up for creativity and humor but two thumbs down for anything other than comedic relief. Oh, I'll keep listening to the entire set for the entertainment value... you should too!
ROTFL ^ Over the years we have come to expect from Dave Berry some of the finniest prose in the English language, and this book does not disappoint. He has an incredible skill at turning even the most boring subject matter into something that we can laugh at with reckless abandon. In the "Money Secrets" he takes on the whole genre of self-help financial advice books and their self-appointed gurus. Two people who are particularly in his crosshairs this time around are Suze Orman and Donald Trump. By the end of the book you will not be able to look at these two with any level of seriousness (if you were ever able to do it in the first place that is).
What is particularly disarming about this book is the vintage Dave Berry turn of phrase and the creation of ridiculous ideas out of the most ordinary circumstances. His skill at it makes it seem incredibly easy to write humor for living, but we would be well advised not to try it on our own. Humor of this caliber is best left to the professionals, and we are fortunate enough that Dave keeps coming up with book as often as he does.
Be warned that while reading this book you will break out into fits of uncontrollable laughter which will leave all those around you perplexed and maybe even worried for your mental state of mind. It's best to read Dave Barry alone while no one is watching.
Not a serious financial book ^ I would stay away from this book if you want to learn anything of real value. There are some intersting facts but they are hidden.
Among Barry's best ^ This book is classic Barry, consistently funny all the way through, including his explanation of why there's a giant eyeball on the dollar. He does take frequent detours from the main topic, such as a lengthy section of travel tips including how to deal with airport security. Some of this material is a bit familiar, but well-done here and very funny. And the money theme does provide a thread running through the book, so it's still appropriately titled.
Dick Hill's narration of the audio edition is almost a bit over the top in places (but then, so is Barry's writing), and is somewhat better suited to Barry's novels. Still, it's not bad here.
Anything Goes Trivia
Trevor
Megaton Man
