Product Description: From Delusions of Universal Grandeur to Twentieth Century Chronoshock, this amusing pocket guide to concocted diseases - designed and illustrated by John Coulthart - features an anthology of slightly morbid, darkly humorous ailments and prognosis srved up by such renowned luminaries as Neil Gaiman, Alan Moore, Michael Moorcock, Gahan Wilson, Brian Stableford, and Michael Bishop.
Not bad, not bad... Jeff VanderMeer (ed.), The Thackery T. Lambshead Guide to Eccentric and Discredited Diseases, 83rd Edition (Night Shade Books, 2003)
Thwack's at it again-- publishing another compendium of diseases that seem like outright fabrications. Until, that is, you find yourself faced with someone suffering from Clear Rice Sickness. Then, of course, you will find this book invaluable.
It helps somewhat that this time round, the esteemed Dr. Lambshead, now at the spry old age of 103 (as of this edition), has combed the planet for some of the finest talents in the medical profession. Such luminaries as K. J. Bishop, Jeffrey Thomas, Neil Gaiman, and many others have contributed their expensive medical knowledge to this volume. He even goes outside the bounds of the medical profession every once in a while, for example in the cast of the Right Rev. Michael Moorcock; one would think that perhaps a man of the cloth wouldn't have much to contribute to a medical volume, but you'd be surprised.
If there is a problem with the newest version of the guide, it is to be found in the environment itself. There are so many eccentric diseases around these days (very few, surprisingly, are discredited; doesn't everyone know by now that Twentieth-Century Chronoshock is nothing more than a bad hangover?) that it sometimes seems that the enterprising young physician with an open mind will be paging through the blasted thing for years, if not decades, trying to figure out what's wrong with his patient. During which time, naturally, the patient might expire. Imagine, if you will, the good doctor's chagrin upon running into the patient's house with the proper tincture and finding the patient had been buried six months previous.
Still, an invaluable asset that belongs on the shelf of any good physician. If yours does not keep a copy of the Guide handy, you'd best go find yourself one who does, or risk the most severe of consequences. ***
Moderate Amusement for the Morbid This is a compilation of accounts of various and sundry diseases and ailments as reported by such contributors as China Mieville, Michael Moorcock, Alan Moore, Brian Stableford, Gahan Wilson, and some flash little twerp named Neil Gaiman. Needless to say, all of these diseases are fictional--OR ARE THEY? (Yes, they are.)
The afflictions discussed are sometimes comical, sometimes ghastly. Some of the more notable ones include buboparazygosia (where the victim is covered by plague-like buboes that swell up to grotesque proportions, eating away the body and then bursting to reveal miniature human fetuses), Buscard's murrain (in which a certain "wormword", when pronounced in just such a way, causes chemical reactions in listeners such that nerve fibers in their brains are converted to self-reproducing parasites), Emordny's Syndrome (which causes those affected to basically chameleonically mimic their surroundings), internalized tattooing disease (where autopsies reveal that certain people have somehow unconsciously created artwork on their spleens and livers), and the unearthly Tian Shan-Gobi assimilation (a "The Thing"-like consumption of the host by fungal colonies).
About two-thirds of the book is taken up by these case studies, and the remainder by short accounts by the contributors of their encounters with the titular doctor and of "reprints" of lengthier studies from previous editions. In some ways, this last section is stronger than the preceding pages. A lot of the material in the first part is repetitious (the collected authors sometimes seemed to all come up with the same idea) or just not that great. Also, many of these folk appear to be English in nature. Americans these days can't seem to stir themselves to dash off a few pages for genre anthologies. But it did introduce me to the work of Kage Baker, whose "Anvil of the World" I recommend.
If you can find this at a library (good luck), it's worth perusing, but I wouldn't commit your monthly book-buying budget to it, unless you've sworn a solemn vow to collect all things Gaiman. But I guess there are worse manias to have.
It just might save your life! Normally, when a person reviews a book, they aren't actually reviewing "the book" but the ideas contained therein. And normally, such a semantic quibble would be absurd, but in the case of "The Thackery T. Lambshead Pocket Guide to Eccentric & Discredited Diseases" it holds some merit. Because not only does it contain a fascinating selection of the bizarre from a remarkably talented group of authors, but it compiles their writings in a visually stunning collection that beautifully mimics the style, and rather drolly the content, of a Victorian Era monograph.
The basic premise of the Guide is that it is the long running publication of the eponymous Dr. Lambshead, who specializes in bizarre diseases. Moreover, the esteemed Dr. Lambshead is 102 years old, and his guide focuses on diseases that are, shall we say, beyond the pale of modern medicine. From Bone Leprosy to Wife Blindness there isn't an eccentric or discredited disease uncovered by such medical luminaries as Jeff Vandermeer, Paul Di Fillipo, China Mieville and K. J. Bishop (to name a few).
The book begins with two introductions, one from Lambshead and one from the editors, both of which are hilarious. The book concludes with entries from past guides, as well as remembrances from Lambshead's associates, a history of the guide and biographies of each of the contributors (in doctor manifestation, of course). However, the obvious reason to read the Guide is the meat between these two pieces of bread: the diseases. Each author spends anywhere from two to four pages detailing the history, cause and treatment of their own particular disease.
It would be impossible to consider each contribution here, and would spoil the fun of the book for other readers, but there are a few highlights worth mentioning just to offer the flavor of the Guide. First up is Michael Barry's "Ballistic Organ Syndrome" which should be self-explanatory, and which nicely sets the tone for the rest of the Guide. China Mieville's "Buscard's Murrain" is the first (and best) of several literary, or word based, diseases; it's characterized by his dry wit and excellent use of language and tone. Michael Cisco's "Clear Rice Syndrome" has an almost Lovecraft-ian feel, and is one of several contributions that could easily be fleshed out into something longer. John Coulthart's "Printer's Evil" is cleverly placed within historical context and is superbly printed (more on this later). Finally, there is "Tian Shan-Gobi Assimilation" by Jeff Vandermeer; not only is it another disease that could easily turn into something bigger, but it echoes numerous themes in his Ambergris work (without explicitly tying back to them) and will thus be a particular treat for fans of his work. These are just a few of the many great contributions to the Guide, and my failure to mention others shouldn't be treated as an indictment, but rather as an acknowledgement of the consistently high standard of writing displayed throughout the guide.
As one can discern, the writing more than justifies the purchase price of the Guide, but what clinches it is the superb quality of the presentation. Liberal use is made of different fonts to denote different periods in the Guide's history, and occasionally (as in the case of the aforementioned "Printer's Evil") to lend a period effect to a given disease. However, the superb illustrations are what set the guide apart. First, each disease is provided with an illustration, in the style of an 18th century illustrated book or newspaper (or the Wall Street Journal today). Some are grotesque, some hilariously subtle, but they all nicely capture the disease in one snapshot. Secondly, there are photographs of "old" copies of the guide and various locations and personalities, all of which are beautifully presented such that they actually look like a sixty year old book or a team of doctors working to contain a vicious outbreak of venereal disease or what have you.
Finally, the editors brought a real sense of historical weight to the Guide by creating "characters" and texts that appear repeatedly throughout the Guide. Not only does this link together what would otherwise be largely unrelated vignettes, but it also deepens the satire by creating a comprehensive sense of realism around an entirely absurd creation.
Clever in its conception and execution, contributed to by an astonishingly talented pool of authors, and beautifully produced, "The Thackery T. Lambshead Pocket Guide to Eccentric and Discredited Diseases" is an absolute joy to read and a must have for anyone who appreciates books as works of art. Its mind-bending amalgam of genres and influences is all the more intriguing for their smooth integration into one truly original work; the Guide was an enormously ambitious project that the contributors, and especially the editors, pulled off in spades.
Enjoy!
Jake Mohlman
thinking person's humor This is a fine example of fiction that takes so many pains to prove its veracity that you almost find yourself falling for the joke, even though you know going in that you're reading a fiction. Mr. Wilson's Cabinet of Wonder comes close to the same subtle and painful humor as the Lambshead guide, creating a reality that is completely palatable as much as it is made up. The collection of fine talent from the entire spectrum of fantastic fiction delivers the goods. Vandermeer deserves credit for lighting the fire under such an entertaining project.
Stunningly original, superbly written, riotously fun If you allow yourself to be contaminated by the gallows humour at work in the Thackery T. Lambshead Disease Guide, I'm quite sure you'll find it a treasured addition to your library. The writing is often quirky and inventive, and while not all of it is great, the work of such talented people as Stepan Chapman (who writes the best stuff in the Guide), Michael Cisco, Jeff Ford, Shelley Jackson, Michael Moorcock, Alan Moore and Jeffrey Thomas, easily makes up for the few uneven spots the book has.
The Guide is also beautifully produced, with superb design and illustrations by John Coulthart that reflect his obsessive attention to detail. Michael Moorcock's disease entry, set in flawless mock-Victorian style, is perhaps the most striking example.
The Lambshead Disease Guide is a strange and original book that overflows with talent. It's perhaps not for the squeamish, but the humour, though dark, is brave and commendable for it dares to laugh (or at least chuckle) in the face of our own mortality and some of our greatest fears. Can't recommend it enough, definitely one of the best books of 2003.
Anything Goes Trivia
Megaton Man
Trevor
