Alice in Genderland tells the story of Dr. Richard Novic, Harvard-educated psychiatrist and crossdresser. No memoir like it has ever been published. Most of the time, he is a man at the office or a husband and father at home. But one evening a week, she is a woman about town, shopping, dining, dancing, and dating a man for over eight years. And it's all out in the open.
Although he now leads a richly expressive life, Dr. Novic suffered since childhood with a secret, a desire he was in no way equipped to handle, but one that eventually burst through his denial, a few months before his wedding day. Just once, he felt, while he still could, he had to know how it felt to be a woman.
Like Alice in Wonderland, his curiosity led him to fall headlong down a rabbit hole, through desperate straits, mind-opening surprises, heart-rending changes, and boundless love. By the time he was back on his feet, he was a different person, living a lifestyle he hadn't known existed. Anyone who has struggled to figure out who they are and how they want to live will see themselves in this powerful life story.
Challenging and Relevant I am a crossdresser, and Alice In Genderland is a book that has added tremendously to my understanding and growth. Like Alice, I am married, and much of her story is extremely relevant to my life. Although many crossdressers lack any interest in bisexuality, I have, like Alice, pursued it and felt more complete for it.
In this regard, Alice's book has loosened me up, helped me be more sensitive and responsible with respect to my wife, and enabled me to be the husband she knows and loves and a fun-loving girl friend to her as well. In particular, she appreciates how much more free and adventurous my femme side is and how it has sparked much better communication between us than we have known in years.
I loved Alice in Genderland and would recommend it to anyone curious about the transgender community. Crossdressers especially will appreciate how this book challenges us to be more honest with ourselves and lead richer, fuller lives.
Not as gender-progressive as it thinks First off, let me say that the book is generally an easy, fast read. The writing is clear, and the story interesting and honest (at times, painfully so).
As I am not a CD myself and thus can't evaluate the book from that perspective, what I offer here is a critical analysis of some of the ideas about gender that it puts forth. In short, this book fails, despite the author's protestations, to offer a progressive understanding of gender. And it is primarily on this basis that I give it low marks.
This book is one of the most sexist, gender-stereotypical books I have ever read. The author categorises interests, personalities, hobbies, activities, etc. as being EITHER masculine/male OR feminine/female, and doesn't seem able to consider the possibility that a single individual can possess both 'sides' simultaneously (literally, at the same time). Instead, in order to engage in supposedly 'feminine' behaviour (an issue I will come to in a moment), one has to look/act like a woman, and vice versa for 'masculine' behaviour. The two 'sides' never comfortably co-exist for this author.
The blatant sexism really steps to the fore with the author's notions regarding those activities/interests/behaviours that are supposed to belong exclusively to women. Apparently, we women spend our time "fussing" over each other's clothes, lying back with our tousled, long hair, giggling, being coy about sex, and waiting - passively, of course - to be "taken." Apparently, we don't have hopes and dreams (let alone real lives) beyond those that pertain to men and our appearance.
To add fuel to the fire, the author seems boastful about that fact that s/he gets to pick and choose those aspects of (supposed) womanhood that s/he enjoys, leaving the dirty laundry (literally and figuratively) of being a woman to her/his wife. Who takes primary responsibility for the running of the household and the children?? Certainly not the author! When it comes time to deal with this kind of stuff, s/he is now a man and, therefore, not obliged to participate equally.
It seems to me that the author's understanding of what it is to be a woman is entirely derived from male (sexual) fantasy and a lack of understanding of real women's *complete* lives. Or if not a lack of understanding, than an explicit decision to ignore those other parts, because they just aren't so fun/sexy, are they?
And the icing on the cake is that the author uses psychological theory to justify his egocentrism. S/he claims everything s/he does falls under the auspices of "self-actualization" and is, therefore, beyond reproach. As a psychologist myself, I must point out that the author does not use this term very accurately. Self-actualization is NOT doing whatever you want, no matter its effects on everyone else. Self-actualization is: achieving an understanding of oneself and one's place in the world, knowing and accepting one's assets and faults (as well as the assets and faults of others), tolerating ambiguity (things don't have to be either/or), having compassion for others, being humble, being ethical (with respect to both means and ends), and finding meaning *outside oneself*.
If you want an easy read about the development of one particular cross-dresser and his/her journey to self-acceptance, then this book is for you. But be aware: it also contains a large measure of gender stereotyping topped with a dose of psychological self-justification for rather hurtful behavior. Clearly, Novic (or Alice, if you prefer) is no feminist.
Where is the beef? In the pages of this book. What an incredible story, lots of substance, real and enlightening. Finally a story close to my own. Very well written, entertaining as well as full of substance. The best book I've read this year!
Validation, and Then Some The following is an excerpt from an email I sent to Alice about her book. I realised after writing it, it would make a good, if encapsulated, review.
"I know you are one busy person, and that little nugget of realization has kept me from writing you. However, your book is so enjoyable, so validating, and so full of life that I couldn't stand holding off writing you any longer. I haven't even finished it yet, but nonetheless, I had to express my thanks and my admiration to you for writing it - and baring your soul in the process."
The book is not just about being a crossdresser, but it explores Alice's path to realization, how she dealt with that realization, and how she leads her life as a result. It is written in a gregarious, friendly style, with lots of insight and detail, and is one tough book to put down once the first page has passed! It's intent is not as a "self-help" book, rather a peek into a life, but if you have any questions about your "identity", it is a must read. It is a "must read" even if you don't. Wonderful book!
First of Its Kind I was surprised when I discovered a few years ago that no one had ever written a contemporary crossdressing memoir. Although there had been many transsexual memoirs and drag queen diaries, no one had ever written the story of a "heterosexual crossdresser."
Thus begins Alice in Genderland, and it's the story of one such individual who walks a path of exploration and ultimately discovers he's more bi than heterosexual and ends up finding fulfillment on both sides of the gender fence.
After introducing us to the rather unorthodox life he leads today, this Harvard-educated psychiatrist takes us back to an upper middle-class childhood punctuated by fantasies of being female and occasional forays into sisters' closets.
Like many crossdressers, he spends much of his early adulthood in denial, making excuses to himself for his behavior. But gradually he begins his journey toward self-acceptance, through books, counseling, and interactions with many colorful characters in and around the transgender community.
Alice in Genderland is an intelligent, well-written book that takes readers inside the life of a crossdresser who has done it all and lived to tell. Unlike so many transsexual stories that consist of intense struggle and costly triumph, Dr. Novic's tale is exciting and mostly upbeat. Richard/Alice forges ahead from one misadventure to the next, ending up with a life that many would envy and/or judge.
Though clearly not for anyone troubled by negotiated non-monogamy, Alice in Genderland is an educational and inspiring story for those wondering where they fit in the gender spectrum, those that love them, and those that are simply curious.
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